


Trade Mistakes

by tsukithewolf



Series: Again [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: A Reset story, Angst, F/F, F/M, MC with everyone, Major spoilers for all routes, Multiple routes, POV Second Person, Somewhat involves the Seven Reset Theory, time loops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-08-23 03:59:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8313202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukithewolf/pseuds/tsukithewolf
Summary: Yoosung was your first.
  Time keeps resetting on you, but you're unsure why. Each timeline leads you to a new end, but none of them can be correct because at the end of it all you wake up back in your bed to find Unknown messaging you again. Scared and confused, you make your way through the timelines falling in love again and again with the RFA members as you try to understand the curse you are under. You're not the only one who remembers, though.





	1. Yoosung Good End

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be posted as a single oneshot, but for creative purposes I wanted it to feel like you were almost starting new with each new chapter. So the chapters range in size. Either way I hope you enjoy the story! I'll post what I have tonight and then add the rest asap.

Yoosung was your first.

 

You entered the RFA through strange means, and discovered a treasure chest full of amazing people. Not all of them trusted you immediately (who would in such a suspicious scenario?), but all of them treated you kindly. You found yourself with a new home, a new group of friends, a new job you needed to do, and an all-around better life. You laughed more and looked forward to all of the conversations with the rest of the RFA members, even if it meant that your sleeping schedule was messed up now. It was okay. You’ve never seen any of them in real life, so you would gladly stay up late to talk with them.

 

You loved all of them, but Yoosung won your heart first. His earnestness drew you in, and all you wanted to do was help him and support him even as you watched him try to throw his life away with video games. You didn’t have the heart to let him do such a thing, so you encouraged him to try new things. You listened to him as he talked about Rika (even when it started to annoy you with the comparisons) and gently tried to heal the wound in his heart. And eventually, slowly, you two fell in love.

 

You adored watching him become the man you knew he truly was. He loved every bit of you, and in many ways he reminded you of a puppy. You longed to hold him and to kiss him like he would tell you he would do if he could only go to see you, but both of you trusted Seven when he said that your location couldn’t be revealed. Talking on the phone was enough. The chats over messages and in the chat rooms were enough. Your heart would race with joy, and your nights were filled with his sweet voice.

 

The bomb scared you. You felt like you couldn’t calm down, even as you reassured everyone that you would stay calm. You considered leaving the RFA because you found all of it to be too much. There were times you cowered in your room and cried. Yoosung became furious on your behalf, even as the others scrambled to keep everyone calm. Zen and Yoosung raged, Seven worked hard to secure the bomb, and Jaehee and Jumin worked to contact V desperately. You couldn’t do much. You were trapped in your house. You felt claustrophobic. For the first time you regretted ever agreeing to help the RFA. It was too much. 

 

Yoosung could tell you weren’t okay. It was obvious by your messages in the chat room, but it was more obvious as you talked to him on the phone. The panic in your voice was there. He reassured you even as he cursed V for all that he was worth. He couldn’t believe that Rika would do such a thing. He only laughed in disbelief when you tried to keep Yoosung calm in terms of V. You had never seen a person so angry before. You wished that he was there to hold you.

 

Seven proved he was as amazing as everyone said, and the bomb was neutralized. It wasn’t enough for all of the RFA (or you). They wanted you out of the apartment. You didn’t want to stay either. You could barely understand why you stayed. You should’ve run. You wanted to. But if you did, you were almost positive you would never hear from the RFA again.

 

“It’s too dangerous! You’re safer there!” Seven insisted. And you believed him. Because even if you were now scared of the RFA, you trusted the people there. People who had barely been in your life for a couple of days, but all of whom you loved. You stayed as they understood your want to leave and reassured you. 

 

Yoosung called you whenever he could. You two shared your fear and nervousness with each other, calming and riling each other up in waves. You loved him so much. It was enough. He promised to protect you, and you believed him. You trusted him, which was why you helped him convince Seven to take Yoosung with Seven to the hacker’s base.

 

“Be safe, please.” You whispered desperately into the phone the night before they left. “I can’t lose you.”

 

“I’ll be as safe as I can! Seven won’t let anything happen to me!” Yoosung reassured you. You soaked in his voice, so confident and determined, and your body hummed with need. You wanted to hold him. You were scared you would lose him before you would ever get to meet him. “Just wait for me, okay? We’ll be back soon. And I’ll finally meet you at the party!”

 

“When you see me, kiss me.” You commanded.

 

“I-I Y-Yeah! Of course!” He stuttered, caught off guard and flustered. His voice softened with longing, “I . . . I want to kiss you so badly. And hold you. It’ll be the first thing I do.”

 

“Promise?” You asked.

 

“Pinkie promise!”

 

And when he and Seven left, you never expected him to be injured. You didn’t know it at first. He hid it from you so that you could enjoy the party. But when you didn’t see him, you began to worry more. You needed to see him. You wanted to make sure he was okay, especially as Seven apologized to you repeatedly.

 

“Where is he?” You asked him, shaking.

 

“I-” Luciel cut himself off and shook his head. “Just enjoy the party! You’ll . . . You’ll see him soon, okay?”

 

You nearly collapsed as you saw Yoosung for the first time. His beautiful purple eyes you had only seen in pictures were damaged. A large bandage covered his left eye, and his face was pale, but he smiled as he talked to you. And just like he promised, he kissed you in front of everyone whispering words of love. And you cried and held him, because he was there. He was safe. And finally you had him.

 

Your love for Yoosung didn’t fade. You supported him as he pursued the dream he had made in light of Rika’s pain. You adored each moment he talked about what he learned, and the two of you moved in together as soon as you could. You left Rika’s apartment behind, not regretting a moment of it. You didn’t leave the RFA because Yoosung didn’t want you to, and you found that you were glad that you didn’t. Your friends loved you, and you loved them.

 

Everything was nearly perfect. You didn’t understand why the last bit of happiness just wouldn’t  _ click _ in your heart. 

 

You decided to ignore it. “Nearly perfect” was better than nothing.

 

You visited Yoosung at his clinic, and smiled softly at the sight of his glasses. His eye was still weak and he needed corrective lens. You thought they just made him more cute. You switched his glasses for a new pair even as he playfully whined about it. You knew he would be having surgery soon to fix his eye, but you found a part of you wanting him to keep the glasses. You wouldn’t say that, though.

 

“What’s that?” He asked. “You like people who wear glasses?”

 

Something in you shook, and you were left breathless. Your heart suddenly dropped to your stomach, and the piece of the puzzle that just didn’t  _ fit _ into your nearly-perfect life hummed as if it had just been struck. Yoosung held you, confused as you teared up. You laughed it off, saying some kind of excuse because you didn’t want to worry him. You sidetracked him with talks of dinner, and soon enough he was going back to normal even as he watched you with a professional doctor’s eye. 

 

It was all so domestic, and you refused to bow from the sudden pain in your heart. The slot where your life wasn’t perfect at seemed to widen like a void, stealing your happiness from you. As you lay down beside your loving husband in bed, you nearly cried even as you didn’t understand. 

 

Somehow, none of it was enough anymore.


	2. Bad End

You opened your eyes to an unfamiliar-familiar room to the sound of your phone beeping with messages. You blinked, baffled, and sat up quickly. Your bed was too small, and this was . . . this was your old room. This wasn’t your house with Yoosung. Your husband was gone, and even as you thought about it your memories were fading. You clung desperately to them and threw yourself at your phone. You had to message everyone. They had to know!

 

But the only message on your phone was from Unknown.

 

You couldn’t do it again. The pain was raw in your chest. You didn’t want to listen to him. You could get the hacker off of the RFA’s trail. And then you would find your friends. They had to remember. You knew where Yoosung lived. You would talk to him. You would call Jumin. You would try to contact Luciel! Someone . . . someone had to know!!

 

So you went to Rika’s old apartment. And you lied about there being a code. You pretended not to know anything even as you knew the password by heart. You wouldn’t let the hacker get into Rika’s house. You would protect them.

 

You had no idea the hacker himself was there. He called you a liar. And then you knew no more.

 

You only faintly recalled pain and a woman’s voice. The smell of the mountains, and the chanting of people to a Savior. You remembered crying and whispering for Yoosung to save you. For someone to find you. But the hacker himself didn’t seem to remember you. You doubted anybody from the RFA even knew who you were. You were alone.

 

* * *

* * *

 

> **707:**. . . Something’s not right.
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **Huh? What do you mean?
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Where is she . . . ? Isn’t she supposed to come at this time?
> 
>  
> 
> **Jaehee Kang** : What are you talking about, Luciel?
> 
>  
> 
> **Zen:** Yeah! Is someone supposed to be here?
> 
>  
> 
> **Jumin Han:** We’re the only ones who have access to this chatroom.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:**. . . idk.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Maybe it was just a dream.
> 
>  
> 
> **Zen:** lololol you’re being weirdly serious right now.
> 
>  
> 
> **Zen:** Kind of freaky.
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **Is everything alright?;;;
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Nah~
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Just wondering when my maid will show up~ lololol


	3. Jaehee Good End

You felt shaken and rubbed completely raw when you woke up once again in your bed with almost no memories of what you had been subjected to. Judging by the fact that you couldn’t even bring yourself to answer your phone for a good ten minutes because your mind took that long to focus on anything, you thought it was probably best that you didn’t remember. You could barely even remember what it felt like to talk to Yoosung. You couldn’t remember the faces of your friends. But you remembered Unknown and that he had done something to you. So you followed his instructions without any fight to you. If he was suspicious about how easily you were convinced to go to Rika’s apartment, he didn’t comment on it.

 

You were quiet a majority of the conversation with the RFA members as their texts scrolled across your screen. Something in you warmed at the sight of it and your eyes welled up with tears, but you blinked them away. For the first time in what felt like a very long time, you smiled and huffed a laugh as you talked to them. And just as they did last time, they accepted you as part of the RFA. You were happy to do Rika’s work again. If only it meant that you didn’t have to deal with Unknown again.

 

You still loved Yoosung, but your heart ached at the thought of pursuing him again. You weren’t as friendly this time, but you weren’t cruel to him either. You weren’t sure you could go through it again with him. It wasn’t that you didn’t find him attractive anymore, it’s just that you could sense that he wasn’t right. Whatever the reason you were sent back to your bed, it had to do with Yoosung. So . . . you wouldn’t let him fall for you again.

 

But you couldn’t bring yourself to fall in love with another. Not yet. Not so soon. So you attached yourself to Jaehee. You saw how stressed out she was and resonated with that. She sensed your support and your emotional fatigue, and she lifted your spirits. You two supported each other throughout all of her trials working with Jumin, and you helped her to discover how to be happy. And you loved her for that.

 

You weren’t sure if your feelings for her drifted into the romantic hemisphere, and Jaehee seemed to struggle with the same. She was beautiful, but the words “glasses” rang in your head, reminding you of your life with Yoosung. Maybe you really were just attracted to glasses? You didn’t know. The boys joked about it, casually hinting that the two of you were dating when you talked on the phone or planned to spend the night at each other’s houses. She fangirled with you about Zen, so you encouraged a friendship between them. It was astounding to you how different this timeline was just because you had chosen to focus instead on Jaehee. And it was a relief.

 

You didn’t understand why the hacker wasn’t that big of a deal in this timeline. The bomb never became an issue. You grew complacent with your life.

 

You jumped with joy when Jaehee officially was fired from Jumin’s secretary position, and laughed like mad with Seven as his plan came to fruition. And then you laughed harder when Jumin got his revenge. Jaehee was freed, and through her you felt free as well. The days you had spent talking with all of them had recovered you. And at the party when Jaehee had asked you to be her partner, you hugged her tightly and agreed over and over again.

 

You moved in with her not long after. She had a big apartment, and you didn’t want to live in Rika’s apartment if you could help it. Besides it was easier for both of you to enjoy each other’s presence when you lived together. You tasted her coffee experiments and gave her detailed feedback, and in return she shyly told you about how she had decided to grow out her hair. Some nights you sat together curled up under a blanket on the couch and held hands while watching one of Zen’s amazing musicals and whispered excitedly to each other. Your heart healed from your trauma. You loved her so much, even if both of you couldn’t quite figure out the dynamic of your relationship. So neither of you talked about it.

 

Besides, you had a feeling that maybe if you pushed there could be something between Zen and Jaehee. You weren’t sure if it was jealousy, but something akin to it burned in your chest. You didn’t know who you were jealous towards, though. You didn’t want to say you were jealous so Zen, but you also kind of felt jealous of Jaehee. You had to think about it in your bed, quietly contemplating it.

 

You loved your life as you had it. Working with Jaehee was the happiest you had been in a long while. But you missed being in a relationship. And being with a woman like Jaehee . . . didn’t fit. You laughed, but you didn’t laugh as hard as you expected to. She didn’t get all of your jokes. Something was again missing.

 

You were fine with it. You wouldn’t change it for the world.

 

Unfortunately, you didn’t seem to have a choice in the matter.


	4. Zen Good End

 

> **707:** You again . . .
> 
>  
> 
> **Zen:**??
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **What??
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Looks like someone entered the chatroom;;
> 
>  
> 
> **Jumin Han:** Do you know that name?
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Oh! I was talking about something else, lolol.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Now then
> 
>   
>  **707:** WHO ARE YOU, HACKER!!!!

* * *

* * *

You almost didn’t want to answer the text message that beeped on your phone as you stared up at the ceiling of your old home. It sounded nothing like the messaging tone from the RFA app. You had grown so accustomed to it that you barely could remember what your old ringtone had sounded like. Now it sent shivers down your spine. It was a message from Unknown. You hadn’t heard from him since Seven had handled him.

 

You couldn’t even remember what Seven had done.

 

You followed Unknown’s commands and became part of the RFA once again. You thought that the original introduction chat seemed slightly different from last time, but you couldn’t figure out why. Something about it bothered you, but you became so swept up in the antics of your closest friends (who were total strangers again now) that you didn’t have time to consider it.

 

You were more attentive this time considering your heart wasn’t as damaged. But you still ached. You had lost two loves, and it was stressful becoming friends once again with everyone. Seeing Jaehee not trust you was like a stab through the chest. You could still remember the smile in her voice as she whispered your name. The warmth of her body pressed to yours when both of you were too tired from work to even go to separate beds. Her name made you imagine the smell of coffee.

 

Yoosung made you reminisce about his beautiful eyes watching you. About nights the two of you spent gaming together when neither of you had work or school in the morning. About the lazy mornings he kissed you awake, and about the dates you went on with everyone. You knew all of their faces, but none of them knew you. Only Seven knew what your face looked like.

 

Your friends didn’t remember you.

 

Your time with Jaehee made you love Zen even more. You admired his work and were glad to praise him for it. And before you had known it, his friendly flirts became a bit more serious. There was more longing in his tone, and you found yourself reciprocating. He was kind and silly, and he made you laugh just like you had always wanted. He didn’t wear glasses, but you had more fun with him than Jaehee, and he was more mature than Yoosung. With Jaehee you had become very close friends with him, but never quite fell for him. This time you didn’t have Jaehee’s love surrounding you. And Yoosung’s kindness stayed platonic.

 

You loved him, and Zen quickly fell in love with you. You thought that he always had feelings for you, but this was a new level. You wanted him to work hard at his career because he loved it, but he always made sure to make time for you. You received calls from him day and night, and you stayed up late because you knew he was more of a night owl. He would whisper to you in the silence of the night some of the things he would be willing to do with you -to do _to_ you- and you blushed and flirted back until you were both hot messes.

 

It was a thrill to be with him, but because of that you forgot about the trouble that surrounded the RFA. You had forgotten about the bomb, and seeing Zen become furious because you weren’t protected just made your stress spike. But you couldn’t bring yourself to really panic. You knew about the bomb even if you feigned ignorance and shock. Some of the others blamed Seven, but you only encouraged the hacker to do his best. And he thanked you for it. You expected life to go as it had with Yoosung. What little you could remember anyway.

 

Until Unknown broke into your house and captured you, threatening to take you to Mint Eye.

 

You screamed for help, and help arrived. You nearly cried as Zen burst into your apartment, a furious and righteous guardian angel, and he rescued you to steal you away to his house. He held your shaking body to his as he called up the rest of the RFA, still panicking himself, to tell them all what happened. Your fingers were trembling as you clutched at his shirt. You could faintly remember chanting. You had almost been taken back there.

 

“Thank you.” You breathed against his chest as Zen kept you close. “He almost . . . He almost took me again!”

 

“Again?” Zen asked, shocked.

 

You stuttered and shook your head. You couldn’t tell him the truth. He didn’t know. He didn’t remember. You couldn’t explain.

 

You were happy to let the others take over. You focused on Zen’s life and his career being threatened. He protected you, and you wished to protect him. You shared each other’s pain and memories. He opened up to you about his family, and you encouraged him to stay strong. Everyone would work together. And when you couldn’t help him, there was a safety net of support.

 

You didn’t understand what led you to these people. These kind and caring friends who took you into their fold and had accepted you as one of them. Who worked hard for your safety. Who kept secrets from each other and were all damaged in their own way, but those pieces fit together. You had fallen in love with three of them. You wondered if time would reset on you again, and if so why? Why did it happen to you, and why did nobody remember?

 

“Do you ever feel like . . . we’ve done this all before? Had déjà vu?” You asked them one by one.

 

“I have déjà vu all of the time!” Yoosung had replied. “Like when I was going to the store earlier!”

 

“Mmm, not really.” Zen admitted, pressing his face to your hair and thinking. “I have premonition dreams, but nothing like what you’re describing.”

 

“Every time I get a cat project from Mr. Han I feel as if I am experiencing déjà vu.” Jaehee sighed.

 

“I have no idea what you mean.” Jumin responded.

 

Seven had hesitated only briefly, his silence loud over the phone. You almost got your hopes up before he huffed a laugh and hummed, “Sometimes I do! But that’s because my life never changes! Except recently with the hacker . . .”

 

“Oh.” You had responded to all of them, each successive response making you quieter and quieter.

 

“You don’t sound alright. Everything okay?” Seven had asked.

 

“Yeah. I’m gonna go.” You murmured.

 

“. . . Listen, um.” You paused, confused by the change in his tone of voice, “Zen will . . . take care of you. You’re not alone. So . . . You’ll have a happy life with him, okay?”

 

Hearing him say that made you both happy and sad. The inconsistent duality left you flailing for an answer. So you fell back on joking, “You really support us, Seven~!”

 

“Of course I do!” Seven laughed, and suddenly his serious tone was a thing of the past. It left you even more confused. “It’s really great to see you so happy with someone. Maybe it means this game will end, huh?”

 

“What?” You asked, baffled.

 

“Ohh, I think I can hear my boss screaming at me already! My phone has been blowing up with messages. Talk to you later, okay? Toodles~”

 

You didn’t have time to think about the strange conversation as Zen’s life continued to spiral downward with the false sexual harassment accusation. You put your troubles out of your mind as you worked to comfort him and prepare for the party at the same time. You knew from past timelines that Seven could handle the hacker just fine, so you focused on your life.

 

By the time the party had rolled around, you had all but left behind your worried thoughts and the strange conversation with Seven. You let yourself just live in the moment, enjoying your time with Zen and your friends. Sometimes you caught them giving you strange looks, as if you had mentioned something they had never told you before. Maybe you did. You weren’t even sure what all you knew and what all was a dream. Your past timelines (lives? Realities?) were blurred into who you were in that moment. You couldn’t tell Yoosung how beautiful he looked when he was passionate about his job, and you couldn’t tell Jaehee about how happy she was when she had been doing something she loved, but you could quietly push them along and prod the others into place.

 

You were the happiest you could remember being in a long time when you married Zen. He had taken less time to propose than Yoosung, but his proposal was more romantic. You gladly became his manager when your husband became popular enough to need one. There were few nights you spent alone when you travelled with him while he worked. You adored how attentive he was even when some of his words made you cringe from how overly romantic and embarrassing they were. He always smiled and teased you more when you blushed.

 

Two years you were with him and you had all but forgotten how time had repeated on you. When you saw or spoke to Jaehee and Yoosung, though, your heart ached just a bit for your lost loves. A melancholy feeling that Zen couldn’t quite fill. The gap seemed to widen more one night as your old fears began to surface. Everything was going far too well. It always seemed to happen when things were at their most perfect, yet you still felt something off. And that off feeling was becoming more and more insistent. You were terrified.

 

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Zen asked when he saw you curled up on the couch. Tears threatened the corners of your eyes, but it did nothing to relieve your anxiety.

 

“I’m scared.” You confessed to him in a small voice, accepting his hold as he pulled you to him and buried your face into his shoulder. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to do it all again . . . !”

 

“What in the world are you talking about?” He asked you softly, worry in his tone as his hand came up to stroke your hair.

 

You only held him tighter before reaching for a kiss. He easily returned the affection, hands roaming your body in soothing gestures even as a desperate longing filled you. It wasn’t right, you knew. You could tell when it was going to happen now. It was so familiar to your body. Zen wasn’t perfect in the way this strange phenomenon needed him to be so you could finally have your true end. He wasn’t who you needed.

 

. . . Or maybe you weren’t who he needed? Maybe that was the cause of it. Maybe it was time rewriting itself because you kept choosing the wrong people. People who didn’t need you. But was it because you were supposed to be with someone else? Or was it because there was someone else who needed you more? You couldn’t tell.

 

You clung to Zen throughout the night not wanting to fall asleep. You knew if you did, you wouldn’t wake up to see him again.

 

You were right.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

> **707:** I can’t figure it out.
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **Figure what out??
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** It has to be her.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** it all starts with her.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** why her?
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **Are you alright, Seven?
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** It doesn’t matter.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** It’s happened enough.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** It’ll happen again soon. I know it will.
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **Seven, you’re really starting to worry me!!
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **You’re freaking me out T-T
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Don’t worry. You’ll forget it soon enough.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Most of us will.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** But I won’t. Not completely.
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** Guess that’s what I get for having a good memory.
> 
>  
> 
> **Yoosung **☆** : **Sounds like a horror movie…
> 
>  
> 
> **707:** yeah
> 
>   
>  **707:** it’s pretty horrible.


	5. Neutral End

You were so tired. You didn't want to do it anymore. Your heart ached. You couldn't really recall what kind of person you were before all of this started. Back before the resets had started to occur. Jaehee, Yoosung, and Zen had all taken a piece of you, and exhaustion filled your senses. When you had started out, were you different than you were now? Probably. The old you wouldn’t have had her heart broken so many times. Each break was a clean slice that had you staring at the remains of your heart. Your friends and ex-lovers wouldn’t even remember.

 

Why were you still doing this? You didn’t have a choice because of Unknown. If you refused to go, you were terrified he would find you again. You didn’t remember what he had done to you, but you could recall the fear and the emptiness. The feeling of being dizzy and in pain constantly, unsure of who you were, what you were doing, or even where you were at. You didn’t want to go through that again.

 

You joined the RFA again, but you refused to play the game. You were friendly with them, but not overly close. You did your job, but you were too scared to become attached to anyone again. You didn’t want to be hurt. The ones who reached out to you the most were the people you had loved before, but you shied away from their hands. You noticed they began to compare you to Jumin and Luciel. You were distant and unapproachable as Jumin, but as friendly and mysterious as Luciel. Close enough for them to touch, but not enough for them to grab on you.

 

You comforted yourself with your distance.

 

* * *

 

> “Are you doing it on purpose?”
> 
>  
> 
> “What do you mean?”
> 
>  
> 
> “All of this. How many times are you going to keep doing this?”
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t understand . . .”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . . Do you remember anything?”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . . Do you?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Enough.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t . . . I remember enough as well.”
> 
>  
> 
> “So are you doing it on purpose?”
> 
>  
> 
> “No! I would stop it if I could! I don’t know what’s happening. I’m so . . . I’m so scared.”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . .”
> 
>  
> 
> “What . . . What do you remember?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Not much. But I remember you. I can’t . . . I don’t seem to forget you.”
> 
>  
> 
> “The others don’t remember.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Nope.”
> 
>  
> 
> “What do I do? It keeps happening. Do you have any idea . . . ?”
> 
>  
> 
> “No. I . . . I don’t know either.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Help me.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I want to. God . . . I want to help you. Help all of us. It’s driving me crazy.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I just want to live my life.”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . . Yeah, me too.”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . .”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . . Maybe you should run.”
> 
>  
> 
> “What?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Run away. From the RFA, I mean. After the party. Go live your life. Forget about us. Start over.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I can’t! . . . I . . . I don’t want to leave all of you.”
> 
>  
> 
> “If time resets again, I’ll be the only one who remembers you. You can escape. Haha . . . No bomb, no hackers . . . you can live a normal life.”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . . What if I don’t want normal . . . ?”
> 
>  
> 
> “You aren’t close to anyone in the RFA this time. They’ll miss you if you leave, but it won’t hurt them. Just leave.”
> 
>  
> 
> “But what about the hacker . . .”
> 
>  
> 
> “I’ll watch out for you. You don’t need to worry about him.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I-I can’t let him catch me again, Luciel!”
> 
>  
> 
> “Again?!”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . .”
> 
>  
> 
> “Were you . . . Oh shit. Are you-?”
> 
>  
> 
> “I’ll do it.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Huh?”
> 
>  
> 
> “I’ll . . . I’ll stay with the RFA for now. I won’t . . . I won’t let anyone fall in love with me this time. I’ll keep my distance. A-and if time resets again . . . Promise me . . . Promise me that you’ll watch out for me. Find me as soon as you realize, okay? Don’t forget. Please don’t forget.”
> 
>  
> 
> “. . . I . . . I won’t. I’ll protect you. Okay? Don’t cry! Your Defender is here to protect and serve!”
> 
>  
> 
> “Haha!”
> 
>  
> 
> “Ohh! You laughed! That’s the first I’ve heard it!”
> 
>  
> 
> “Ha . . . It’s really not, though.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Man . . . Why can’t I remember _that_ part about you . . . ? At least I know you’re not resetting time on purpose with some crazy powers. Like this is a video game with a start over button or something!”
> 
>  
> 
> “Luciel.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Yeah?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Thank you.”
> 
>  
> 
> “You’re crying again. Come on, what happened to the laughing?”
> 
>  
> 
> “It hurts not being close to anyone in the RFA anymore. Pushing them away after all we’ve been through. But you’re . . . you’re still my friend. I’m not alone. Thank you so much, Luciel!”
> 
>  
> 
> “I just . . . I . . . I've always . . .”
> 
>  
> 
> “Hm? At a loss of words~? Haha!”
> 
>  
> 
> “No . . . Ha! Nevermind. Just . . . If I forget this, just tell me the next time alright? I’ll believe you.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Okay.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I’ve got to go. My boss is blowing up my phone. Ahh, I don’t want to wooooork! But I have toooo! It’s so much more fun talking to yoooou!”
> 
>  
> 
> “I feel the same! I’m cheering for you.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Thank you! I’ll go now then. Bye!”

 

* * *

You fell asleep after the RFA party, and woke up back at your old apartment. It was the fastest time had ever reset for you.


	6. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You attempt to refuse to play the game.
> 
> Seven helps you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part one of two.

You woke up in your bed with only mild surprise. You hadn’t expected for everything to reset so soon. You had only just been to the party, after all, and had been sleeping off the buzz of the party and the alcohol. It didn’t make you feel good to know that time would reset so soon after such a small thing, but it made you think. Was eleven days the minimum limit for you? If you didn’t pursue anyone, would time reset after the party? You weren’t sure. You didn’t have enough data for it, and you were unwilling to play the same route over and over again to get the statistic. The only other time you had not gotten together with one of the RFA members was when you had been captured by Unknown. You had no idea how long you had been with that person before time had reset. You would rather not remember.

 

Your phone beeped with the message on your new app you had downloaded, but you didn’t need to look to know what it said. Unknown was already contacting you. You would need to respond. You were too scared not to respond. But you still recalled most of your conversation with Luciel from your last timeline.

 

Luciel remembered.

 

The very thought sent your heart rate skyrocketing. You weren’t alone in this insane cycle. You couldn’t remember everything from all of the timelines, but it looked like Seven was in the same boat as you. It was enough to make you tear up again. You had a partner. Someone who bore the same pain as you did.

 

It made you consider his words seriously. You hadn’t yet received a phone call from him, but that didn’t really mean anything. Maybe he wasn’t awake yet. You still needed to account for the travel time it took to get from your place to Rika’s old apartment. He had promised to call you if he remembered. Maybe you should be more proactive instead. You couldn’t keep relying too much on others. And Luciel remembered just like you did. You could trust him. You had memorized his phone number in the last timeline just in case considering you usually just called the others via the messenger app.

 

But you hesitated. The hacker was on your phone right now. Would you be able to call Luciel without putting him in danger? Without putting yourself in even more danger? You knew that Luciel lived pretty far from where you were and that he was protected, but you weren’t. Unknown may attack you if you call him.

 

Your fingers hesitated in responding to the first message. Was it a risk you were willing to take?

 

It was.

 

The phone rang, but you wondered if Luciel would even pick up. Your number was bound to come up on his phone as an unknown number. You could only hope that he would pick up for you even though he wasn’t known for doing so.

 

“Mmmm hello?” Your heart relaxed out the sound of his voice. You hadn’t realized just how scared you were and how tense your body was just from waking up. You still were communicating with the hacker, albeit slowly.

 

Your hands gripped the phone tightly. “Luciel? It’s . . . it’s me. I’m not sure . . . if you remember me?” Your voice turned up at the end in a question.

 

“Me who?” Luciel asked, that playful tone telling you that he was either just playing along with you, or he was suspicious. Neither seemed good for what you needed. You told him your name.

 

“I’m supposed to go to Rika’s apartment . . . remember? But you told me to call you first.” You prayed silently that he remembered. Otherwise you didn’t know what it meant for this timeline. You were running out of time with the hacker. You would have to leave soon. You were too scared not to follow his instructions otherwise.

 

“Rika’s apartment? Nobody should know where that is . . .” Luciel’s voice lowered. “Ah . . . that sounds familiar? Why does it sound familiar? Your voice and your name . . .” You faintly heard the sounds of a keyboard being typed upon.

 

“Look me up if you have to. Please remember. I need your help, Defender of Justice!”

 

“Oho!!” Luciel cried, and you knew you had even more of his attention. “Defender of Justice! I like that!! Defender of Justice Seven-Zero-Se . . .ven . . .” His voice trailed off. He sounded like something else had completely distracted him. You waited and kept up your conversation with Unknown. He hadn’t seemed to have caught onto the fact you were on the phone. You were nervous to stay on the line too long. You had a feeling Unknown was much closer to you than Seven was.

 

“Luciel?” You asked after a prolonged silence. You knew he was still on the line because you could hear clicking and typing.

 

“Oh? Oh! Sorry. Wow, you’re cute!” You flushed at the comment. You hadn’t expected that. “Also, I recognize that face. But I can’t . . . really remember from where? It feels like a dream . . . But my memory is super good . . . this is strange.”

 

“I’m on the phone with Unknown.” You told him instead, hoping it would prompt his memory. You were becoming antsy. You trusted Luciel, but you needed to get the ball going. You didn’t have the patience to wait for him. This was unknown territory. Literally. “And I have to go to Rika’s apartment soon. But I was going to run away, just like you suggested. I . . . I’ll try to run. But I need your help. I can’t let him get me, Luciel.”

 

Luciel was silent for a long time. You could hear his breathing, a little faster than it had been before. You hoped that your words had triggered something in him. “How much time?” He asked. “Until you need to go there, I mean?”

 

“Now. I have to leave now to return the phone.”

 

“Don’t go, then.”

 

“I can’t. I . . . I’m afraid he’s nearby. I’m too scared.” You weren’t afraid to confess your fear to him. It was almost built into you. You were scared of what kind of trauma you had gone through with Unknown in your past timeline.

 

“Okay. Okay new plan then. Don’t hang up the phone. I’ll make sure this call can’t be tracked. Don’t hang up.”

 

“You remember.” You breathed, shaky relief fluttering in your chest even as you left the house. You plugged a pair of headphones into your phone so that you could text and talk to Luciel at the same time. “Thank God. I thought you had forgotten.”

 

“I still don’t really know what’s happening.” Luciel corrected you, a small laugh in his voice. “But I can tell that what you’re telling me is true. It’s right on the edge of my brain. I just need to reach for it. You’re too important to me . . . I can feel it.” He said the last bit softly; so softly that you weren’t sure you had heard him correctly. You didn’t call him out on it.

 

“I’m going right now. What will happen when I’m there?” You threw together a couple of necessary items into your purse unsure of if you would ever be coming back to your place. If things worked out and you managed to leave the RFA without time resetting, you hoped that you could come back to pack properly. But if you couldn’t come back, you wanted a couple of things that were yours. There was still the probability, though, that none of this mattered and you would end here sooner or later anyway. At this point you weren’t sure what you were hoping for. Probably just for time to stop resetting.

 

“I’m gonna meet you there as soon as I can sneak out. Just stay in the apartment until then.”

 

“Sneak out?” You asked, unable to help the humor that leaked into your voice. “Where are you, Luciel?”

 

“Just my house~” He sang. “But I have to dodge Ms. Vanderwood to escape~”

 

“Your maid?” You were surprised at that. Wait, how did you know that Ms. Vanderwood was his maid? You couldn’t remember exactly, but it must have been true. You didn’t know what you knew anymore.

 

“Ohh! You know who she is? Hahaha, yes her!”

 

You stayed on the phone with Luciel while you travelled to the apartment. He must have done his job correctly because Unknown never made mention of you calling anyone. The trip there was entirely normal. Your talking with Luciel was sporadic as he seemed to be doing multiple things at once. You didn’t mind. Just knowing he was on the other line was enough to keep you calm. Hearing his voice or breathing. The sound of him typing or taking a swig of what was no doubt Ph. D Pepper. It was all so normal for you even if you had never been able to get particularly close to Luciel.

 

“Luciel.” You whispered as you took the taxi to Rika’s apartment complex. Rika’s old phone was clutched in your hand.

 

“Yeah?”

  
“Thank you. I mean it. You don’t have to help me but . . .”

 

“You’re wrong about that.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I do have to help you. I don’t have a choice. If I don’t help you . . . this won’t end. We’ll go through this cycle over and over.” You didn’t respond. “I want to figure out why this is happening. And it all centers around you. I know it does.”

 

“Yeah.” You said quietly. You could tell he was about to say something else, but you had to cut him off, “I’m at the apartment now. I need to hang up.”

 

“Because he’s nearby, right?” Luciel sounded so different when he was serious. His voice deepened and didn’t lilt like it tended to do when he was in playful mode. It almost made you nervous. You had a feeling there was a lot more to Luciel than he ever showed. You wanted to find out. Your curiosity begged you to ask him questions about himself. To find out more. You wanted to know Luciel in a way that you never knew him in past timelines.

 

But now wasn’t the time to get closer to your friend. You needed to focus.

 

“Yes.” You said.

 

“Call me when you can. I’m headed out after I check the security feed everywhere. I’ll see you soon.”

 

You didn’t know why those words made your heart jump. You hoped it wasn’t for the reason you suspected. You couldn’t dare . . .

 

“Okay. Bye.”

 

“I’ll hang up now!”

 

The line went dead and you took a deep breath. Luciel had kept you calm this entire time. You could do this. You looked down at your phone and unplugged your headphones, bringing up the chat again. 

* * *

* * *

 

> **Unknown** : Are you there? ^^ See. Nothing strange.
> 
>  
> 
> **Unknown** : Is there a password lock on the door?
> 
>  
> 
> **You** : Yes.
> 
>  
> 
> **Unknown** : I’ll send you the digits.
> 
>  
> 
> **Unknown** : **[Password] Click Link**
> 
>  
> 
> **You** : The door’s open.
> 
>  
> 
> **Unknown** : Good. Why don’t you go inside?


	7. 707 Bad End

Luciel arrived hours later than you had been expecting. Your phone, just like always, had sent you into the RFA chatroom much to the confusion of everyone in it. But before you could say hello, Seven was already there telling the others to ignore you. That it was a program he was working on and it was no big deal. And the others listened to him. You felt both relief and sorrow at the thought. You would not be making friends with any of the others this time.

 

You let yourself watch the conversation unfold in the way it would have if you had not interrupted last time. A watcher rather than an active participant. Seven kept up the charade of talking with all of them, amazing you with his ability to act. He was much better at it than you were. If you didn’t know better, you would have no idea that he was attempting to come to you right then.

 

You lingered in Rika’s apartment without touching anything. You sat on the couch and played apps you downloaded onto your phone. You ignored the text from Unknown and waited for mentions from Luciel. He didn’t text or call often, but you trusted him. You had a feeling that if he needed to sneak away from his maid, he was putting something at risk. So you would be patient.

 

When he arrived he didn’t bother to knock. He just inputted the code into the door and opened it, calling out a hello to you. You lifted your head to meet his eyes for the first time in this lifetime, and smiled. “Hello Luciel.” You greeted as he stared at you. He seemed to be somewhat stunned, which had you confused. Why was he stunned? But he shook it off and closed the door.

 

“Wow! You know, I half-expected this to be a prank.” He confessed. “Even considering how much I’ve already talked to you today . . .”

 

“Does it help to meet me in person? To, um, remember things?” You asked. He scratched at his fluffy hair.

 

“. . . Kind of.” He sounded quieter than you expected. Usually he was very loud and upbeat. Was that just an act too? The very thought was scary. He grinned at you. “There’s a lot coming back to me . . . but why don’t you explain yourself first? We’ve got some time. I’ve got to let a program run before we can leave anyway.”

 

“What?” You asked, confused. “We’re going somewhere?”

 

“How am I supposed to be sure Unknown won’t get you if I don’t personally see to your safety?” Luciel asked, pulling out his laptop and opening it. His fingers flew across the keys as the screen did complicated things. It must be the program he was running. “So then! Start talking! Tell me what you know~”

 

You decided to tell him most of what you could remember. How you had married and lived with Yoosung, Jaehee, and Zen. About your knowledge of the bomb in the house because Unknown once tried to kidnap you. About the gaps in your memory. And finally about your conversation you could recall having with him from the past timeline. You also told him your suspicion about the minimum number of days it took for a reset to occur. You purposely left out the time you had been kidnapped by Unknown. You didn’t know if he remembered that part of the conversation or not, but you didn’t want to go into what little details you could.

 

Luciel was quiet throughout your explanation, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. The only times he looked away from you was to look at his computer. Every other moment his eyes roamed you, from your nervous fiddling with your hair and neck, to the wringing of your hands. You wondered if he was paying attention to your body language. It made you more nervous, but you felt safe around him. He was a familiar and friendly face in this horrible sea of confusion.

 

When you were finished, Luciel ran a hand into his hair, glancing around at the windows. “If he can break through those windows . . . then all the more reason to leave this place. How the hell would he ever get through those . . . ?” He mumbled almost to himself. “It’s better not to be here. I don’t want the bomb going off with you inside.”

 

“I’d like that not to happen either.” You joked lightly.

 

“I’m not sure this is the time to be joking around.” He told you. You refused to be chastised, though. This was new territory for you, but your other lives have shown you that you had to keep a cheerful outlook or you would fall into despair. It was always on the edge of your mind.

 

“What about you?” You asked. “What do you remember, Luciel?”

 

“Not much.” He confessed. “But your explanation brought some stuff back. Including . . .” He paused and ran a hand over his face squeezing his eyes shut at some memory. You reached for him, concerned. You recognized that pain. It was the face of someone trying to remember something important, but it was slipping from their grasp. He cursed under his breath. “Nevermind. I lost it.”

 

“These damn memories!” You sympathized. Luciel gave you a tiny smile and then shook his head.

 

“The program’s done. Get ready. We’ll leave soon.”

 

Luciel tried to take you back to your house so that you could gather some things before you were to be forced to relocate to a safe house. You didn’t understand why or how Luciel had a safe house. He didn’t explain when you asked instead dodging the question and confessing that you couldn’t stay with him even if it would’ve been safer. You weren’t allowed onto the RFA chatroom, but Luciel let you look at the conversations he had with everyone every now and again when you were at the safe house.

 

You didn’t know how long you were supposed to stay where you were at. Luciel only had a guess. He claimed that he couldn’t stay forever because he needed to go back to his house sooner or later. You were okay with that. You trusted him. Your trust in him only seemed to bother him, but he never really complained. He only said goodbye and made you promise to call or message him throughout the day. That he would check in.

 

You wished that you could’ve kept your promise to him.

 

Your memory was blurry, but you remembered waking up with your head in pain. You recalled being cold, but your body feeling like it was on fire. Your head swam with a horribly familiar sensation that you just couldn’t place, but it made you vomit all over the floor. You understood enough to recognize there were metal cuffs around your wrists. And you began to sob at that moment knowing that Luciel’s precautions hadn’t been enough. Unknown had somehow found you. You could still recall Luciel screaming your name on the phone when the glass shattered in the window. You had seen Unknown pick up the phone and say something to Luciel with a horrible twisted smile as he watched you writhe against the hands of your captors before you were knocked unconscious.

 

You don’t know how long you had been in that cell you were in. You could barely remember anything that occurred there. But you recognized the pain and the voice of Unknown whenever he appeared. That same female voice that sounded so gentle in your hell that you wondered if she was real. About Unknown lamenting your relationship with Luciel.

 

“If you had just listened, then you could have lived.”

 

You did remember one thing, though. You recalled Luciel’s voice towards the tail end of your memory. His face at the bars to your cell calling for you to wake up. You didn’t have the strength to even reach for him or open your mouth. But your heart sang with relief at the sight of him. He looked like an angel to you. But then Unknown had arrived behind him. You had wanted to scream out to him, but you couldn’t.

 

“Saeran!” Luciel cried as he spun around. “Let her go! Please!”

 

“Move out of the way, and I’ll open the cell.” Unknown (. . . Saeran?) commanded, a small smile his face. You didn’t trust it. Luciel listened, though, and moved to the side. Both of them entered together and released you from your bonds. You could recall Luciel whispering reassurances and apologies to you. How he and Saeran would get you out of there. You couldn’t even trudge up the emotion needed to be confused about the entire situation.

 

You don’t recall completely what had happened, but you knew that Unknown had tricked Luciel. You remembered tearing up seeing Luciel trapped behind the bars instead of you while Unknown held you up. “I’m going to keep you alive until I figure out how to be like you and then I’ll feed you to the dogs.” Unknown said to Luciel, smiling broadly.

 

“Th-Then just keep me here!” Luciel begged. “Just let her go. Please. I’ll do what you want.”

 

“This woman is useless to me . . . I only need you, Luciel.” He turned to some people who had entered the room at some point and shoved you over to them. You stumbled on weak legs, your head swimming, and they caught you. “Send the woman upstairs. I’ll use her to threaten Luciel when he’s not listening.”

  
“No!” Luciel cried. You heard your name called one more time before you knew no more.


	8. Neutral End

Your phone rang not long after you left the chatroom. You stared at the picture of 707 on your screen. His profile picture was a cheeky happy picture. Your fingers began to shake as you answered the call and lifted your phone to your ear.

 

“Why are you here?” Luciel asked immediately, his voice soft and confused. You didn’t respond right away so he continued, “You remember our plan, don’t you? I just remembered it now . . . but you’re already in the RFA. If . . . if time resets again . . . then let’s try the plan. Call me before you get to Rika’s apartment. My memories don’t seem to come back right away.”

 

You didn’t understand. “What . . . what plan?” You asked. Your voice felt weak. Your mind had that emptiness and light feeling that you’d had last time you had been captured by Unknown. You couldn’t think properly. Luciel’s words still rang in your head. Important information flitted in and out of your mind before you could properly grasp it.

 

“You were going to run away before joining the RFA . . .” Your breath hitched, and he called your name in alarm. “Wait, you sound strange. Are you alright? Has something happened?”

 

“You don’t remember.” You choked out, a tear leaking from your eye.

 

“Remember what? What is it? Tell me.” You could hear the worry in his voice. You knew he would do much to protect you. And that was why you couldn’t tell him. You didn’t know how much Luciel cared about you or the depth of his feelings, but he was willing to sacrifice himself to a madman if it meant you would be safe. You had no memory of what had happened after you had been dragged upstairs, but you were positive Luciel had suffered the entire time until time had reset on you both again.

 

You didn’t know who Saeran was or his connection with Luciel. You felt like with each successive story you lived, you knew less and less even as you discovered more and more. Was that why everything was resetting? You didn’t know. You couldn’t comprehend it. Your head hurt so much. You could only cry as Luciel called your name repeatedly, begging you to explain. Asking you to calm down and not to cry. Trying to comfort you.

 

“Don’t remember.” You whimpered. “Please, Luciel, don’t remember it. If God is kind at all . . . you won’t remember.” You gave a sob and ended the call.

 

Your phone rang next to you as Luciel tried to call you back, but you only pulled your blanket over your head and ignored the world. You couldn’t escape the game without suffering terrible consequences. You couldn’t do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short because once again another timeline where MC didn't end up with anyone.


	9. Jumin Good End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so much longer to get out than I wanted, lol. After this there should be . . . 2-3 more chapters, I think. Possibly 4.

Luciel didn’t call you in your next timeline. You woke up in your bed as you always did, your head clearer than it had been the last time around, but your heart no less numbed. You ached emotionally, but still you pulled yourself out of your bed to answer Unknown’s messages automatically. Almost as if your responses were programmed into your phone rather than typed out by you. Your eyes still held visions of the grand RFA party and the exotic guests you had met. Those people had become your friends as well, although none of them would remember you. You hoped you would get to meet them again in this timeline. Which guests would be invited? And which would be forgotten?

 

You didn’t notice anything different at first. Your introduction to the RFA and the entire first day of the timeline was the same as it had always been. Your mind and heart had relaxed enough to open up to everyone again, so you didn’t mind being a little flirty in this timeline. You comforted Yoosung and Jaehee, and you joked with Jumin and Seven. You praised Zen and fangirled with Jaehee about him. It was nice as it always was and it made you smile like it always did, but you couldn’t help but wonder how many times you would repeat your words again and again. How many times would you have to perform this role?

 

It was only on the second day did you realize that things were different. The conversations weren’t the same. Seven and Jumin weren’t nearly as busy as they had been in the last timelines. Things had _changed_ and you didn’t know why. Was it because you and Seven had attempted to defy the “rules” of the game? That was the only thing you had done different. Did that cause the timeline to become messed up? You didn’t understand, but you soaked in the new experience. It refreshed your heart and your mind and you found yourself truly happy again. Maybe this was a sign that this was the final timeline? It was a change in the pattern. You could only hope.

 

Still, though, you found yourself different than you had been before. You weren’t the same naïve girl who had fallen in love with Yoosung, and you weren’t the weakened woman Jaehee’s friendship and affection had healed. You weren’t the woman as desperate for love and attention as you had been when you had fallen for Zen. In a way you were stronger and weaker. Stronger because you felt you understood yourself a bit better considering all of the events you had gone through, but also weaker because . . .

 

Despite everything, you had forced yourself away from Luciel. He was a close friend to you, and his jokes always made you laugh. You joined in with him, but then found yourself scolding yourself later on. Luciel . . . you couldn’t get close to him. You knew the extent that he was willing to go for you. He would sacrifice himself to ensure your safety. And that had been back when he had technically only known you for a couple days and through half-remembered memories. What would he do for a person he chatted with daily? Because now because of the timeline, you were chatting with him even more. You were grateful even as you shied away from him.

 

You didn’t know who “Saeran” was, but it was someone Luciel knew. And it was someone . . . that wanted to kill Luciel. Should you warn him? You didn’t know. But you barely remembered the details. There had been past timelines where Luciel went to confront the hacker . . . and had returned to the party almost disoriented and upset. At the time you had taken it because of what had happened to Yoosung (that you could remember), but now you began to question it. Who was Saeran and who was he to Luciel? You couldn’t bring it up to him. You couldn’t risk changing the timeline again.

 

And because of that, you couldn’t let yourself become closer to Luciel. Even if every time he was on you wanted to talk only with him. Even when he made you laugh, and so you wanted to make him laugh in return. Even if you felt that connection between the two of you that you feared. A connection that reminded you of your past loves. You . . . you couldn’t like Luciel that way. For his sake.

 

So you turned your attention elsewhere. Although you still loved the others, you felt that the bond between you and them wasn’t as strong. The chats in the chatrooms were just . . . different. And you took full advantage of it to talk with both Luciel and Jumin. But because you needed to pull back from Luciel, you focused your interest on Jumin.

 

The man fascinated you. He had pissed you off more than once over the course of the timelines (and especially when he was being an ass to Jaehee), but you also knew that he cared deeply about all of the RFA members. No matter what the timeline was, he would care for you and give you encouraging words . . . in his own way. You felt his care for you, but it was even stronger in this timeline. With his schedule not as hectic as before, you had enough time to really chat with him. You would call him up, and he would call you. At first he had been stiff and short with what he would say to you, but slowly he began to open up even more. And you found yourself understanding the mysterious Jumin even more.

 

You had already been vaguely aware that Jumin and his father had different opinions in terms of women and that was why Jumin was so cold towards advances. Had he explained that in another timeline? You weren’t sure. It was hard to remember when all you could think about was Luciel playfully accusing Jumin of being gay. You didn’t agree, but the idea had been planted.

 

Despite being busy, Jumin still took the time to talk to you on the phone. You had grown to prefer those kinds of conversations because in the chatroom you two were almost never alone. And Jumin was never quite as personal in front of others. But talking to him alone he was softer with you and his voice sent chills down your body. You found yourself craving more, and it appeared that Jumin reciprocated the thought.

 

And then you had found out about the woman that the Director had set Jumin up with. The new fiancée for Jumin. You had never met the woman, but the disgust in Jumin’s words was obvious as well as his contempt for what his father was doing. You saw that it plagued him being at such odds with his dear father and not being able to get through to him. You didn’t like that all you could do was sit on the sidelines, but you basked in the new scenario that distracted you from your life. You wanted to visit him to cheer him up.

 

And why couldn’t you? You suddenly wondered about that. Luciel was handling the hacker and you didn’t have to worry about the bomb currently. So it would be perfectly fine to visit Jumin. And it seemed that Jaehee agreed even is Zen certainly didn’t. He couldn’t stay locked up in his penthouse forever with just Elizabeth the 3rd for company. Jaehee’s phone calls weren’t being answered, so she asked you to go see if you could comfort and convince him to go back to work. Your heart leapt at the possibility of meeting Jumin again in person.

 

You had been to Jumin’s penthouse a couple of times in your past timelines, you knew, but you didn’t remember it at all. It wasn’t an important enough detail for you to remember it. So you were amazed at the beauty of it as the guards led you inside to meet with Jumin. He was dressed casually and appeared shocked to meet you even though he recovered his composure quickly and smiled gently for you. You had never seen that look on him before, and when you had smiled back his face only softened more.

 

You knew right away that Jumin was acting strange. He had locked his cat up and, although he still cared for her, seemed to focus more on you than her. Which you didn’t take as a bad thing, but it was definitely odd. Was it maybe just because . . . Jumin felt for you like you felt for him? Despite being pleased, you worried more and more. It wasn’t like him. You knew it was because he was stressed out about Glam Choi possibly taking his cat away from him. It was his form of protection that you supposed may have been considered an overreaction caused by Zen’s premonition dream. You didn’t think Elizabeth the 3rd looked too happy like that, but she wasn’t your cat so you couldn’t say anything. You hoped that Zen’s dream wouldn’t come true, but you knew enough to know that Zen’s dreams always came true.

 

And then Elizabeth the 3rd ran away. Jumin had begged you to stay just a bit longer at his penthouse while he went in search of her, and you had agreed wholeheartedly. You wanted to be there to support him, especially knowing just how close he and Elizabeth the 3rd were. But Jumin never found her, and he turned his attention on you.

 

He treated you exactly as a gentleman would, but you sensed the predator under his skin. His words and actions hinted at a man whose instincts and emotions had been repressed until you had arrived and now they were beginning to rear themselves. However they were doing so too quickly for Jumin to even handle. He lost his control once in a while, saying things to you that made you feel more like a pet than a human being. He didn’t want you to leave the penthouse and asked you to stay even though you knew you needed to go home eventually. It made your skin prickle with unease because you had a feeling you didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

 

 

But despite being essentially locked in a gilded cage, you allowed Jumin to possess you without taking full control out of your hands. It was a battle between being sympathetic to his situation while being firm about your own wants and desires. You would admit that you didn’t exactly mind being trapped in Jumin’s house because it meant you were able to spend so much personal time with him. You saw him with his guard down as he whispered sweet words to you throughout the night before he would send you off to bed. It made fire burn through your blood, but just like him you forced yourself to hold back. As much as you desired to let his animal side take control and bind you up and eat you alive, you knew it wasn’t the time. Jumin needed to adjust to the influx of emotions and desires, and you stirring the pot wouldn’t help.

 

That didn’t mean you didn’t tease.

 

But you being trapped in the house worried your friends. As the days went by and you weren’t released back to the apartment (for security reasons, Jumin said, because he was scared the hacker would hurt you. And you couldn’t blame him for that fear even as you tried not to let your own paranoia hurt you), the conversations in the chatrooms and the phone calls you received became a bit more worried and frantic. Zen was beside himself, although you tried to comfort him. Jaehee had attempted to retrieve you, but she had been shooed away at the door. Even the romantic Yoosung had begun to believe it was too much, and Seven had voiced his concern as well.

 

“Don’t you think this has gone too far?” He asked you one night in the middle of the night. Jumin slept in the other room, but you were curled in his bed among his scent. You couldn’t quite sleep yet knowing that he and Yoosung were preparing to invade the hacker’s place. You knew what had happened last time the two had gone together and it made you sick with fear. Seven . . . wouldn’t let Yoosung get hurt again, right? The scenario was different. Unknown wasn’t being as proactive, right? You couldn’t remember. You were scared for them.

 

“You’re going to face the hacker, Luciel. Of course it’s gone far.” You told him.

 

“I meant with Jumin.” Luciel huffed a laugh. He didn’t seem as worried as you expected about the hacker. You weren’t sure that was a good thing. “He’s keeping you trapped. Are you sure you want him to be the next one you play with?”

 

You frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

 

“He’s your choice for this timeline, right?” His voice was light, but you could sense something hidden beneath his playful façade. “But he’s keeping you trapped. Are you sure you want to keep going down this route?”

 

“Seven . . . I.” You stopped, unsure if you wanted to confess the depth of your feelings for Jumin to Seven before you even really told Jumin. You did love Jumin just as much as you had loved the others and you weren’t exactly afraid to say it, but the words caught in your throat when it came to Luciel. It felt like betrayal. “I’ll be fine. We’re working things out together. I’m more worried about _you_ right now.”

 

“Me? Nah~ Don’t be! It’ll be fine. Just a quick in-and-out mission.” He was so lax in telling you what he was going to do. It made you wonder how much he remembered.

 

“Be careful please. And . . . keep watch over Yoosung. Both of you come back unharmed, okay?” You decided against warning him. He took your words to heart, though. He and Yoosung came back safe and had even found Elizabeth the 3rd, but you knew immediately that something had gone wrong at the hacker’s HQ. You knew it was Saeran, but Seven wouldn’t talk to you. He only asked about V over and over again.

 

Although you worried for Seven and what Saeran had done to him, you found Jumin was getting better. His actions, always so sweet, had softened even more. His gripping fear and possessiveness began to relax as you two talked about the boundaries of your relationship and as the stress from his father’s pressure relaxed some. Jumin’s meeting with his father had gone well, although it wasn’t over yet. He had agreed to finally let you go home, but you never actually managed it right away. The suspicious actions of Seven and his need to talk to V made Jumin unnerved. And although you knew you needed to go home so you could have a successful party, you couldn’t bring yourself to be upset about Jumin’s choice to keep you there just a bit longer until he could find out what was going on. You trusted Jumin.

 

You had tried to call Seven up and talk to him and see if he would confess anything to you, but to your shock you caught him crying. You heard him trying to repress his sobs behind laughter and felt tears well up in your own eyes. “You only care about Jumin . . . I’m nothing . . .” He whimpered into the phone as he murmured about bread crumbs as he cried. You opened your mouth to try to comfort him, but he hung up before you could. You didn’t have the nerve to call him back.

 

You met V in person at Jumin’s penthouse where the man himself decided he would return you back to Rika’s apartment. You could see the amount of friendship and trust between V and Jumin, and Jumin finally accepted that he would let you go. You admittedly felt a little sad to leave. You had grown to love living with Jumin and away from that apartment. You wanted to spend more time with Elizabeth the 3rd and you wanted to go out on an actual date with Jumin, but you were happy to get to go outside again. You put your trust in V and found that he didn’t lead you astray. You couldn’t say you were happy to be back at Rika’s apartment.

 

The party went off without a hitch, but Jumin had put his own twist on things. There were reporters everywhere as Jumin publically humiliated Glam Choi and the person you learned was her sister. Jumin got his revenge on the terrible women, finally took off his father’s rose-colored glasses, and he made your relationship with him official in front of everyone. You would be part of the headlines for days to come, but you could only smile. Jumin was insane and silly, but you loved him. You let him lead you step by step so you would not be swept away by the media and your suddenly very thrilling life.

 

Out of all of the people you had loved, Jumin had proposed the fastest. You couldn’t say you didn’t see it coming, and you happily accepted. The pacing for everything was so quick, but you loved it. Time seemed to fly as you became one of the elite but still held onto the RFA. You loved being with Jumin. He would give you everything and anything you wanted, even though you didn’t like to take advantage. He cared for you, and you were glad to be the one to show him “commoner” things. He made you smile, and you laughed whenever you saw his devious side. Your romantic life had never been more exotic, and you saw more of the world in just a matter of a couple years than you would’ve expected.

 

“So . . .” Luciel had his hood up today as the two of you sat out outside at a small café sharing sweets. He looked more exhausted than ever, you thought, and you regretted that you hadn’t checked in on him more. You barely knew what was happening with him anymore. He still came on the chatrooms, but not nearly as often. He seemed to have taken up some kind of private job that he refused to speak about with anyone. You wanted to reach over and swipe your thumb along the dark bruises under his eyes.

 

“So . . . ?” You prompted, taking a bite of your small cake as you waited for him.

 

“Is this it, then?” He asked softly, his voice tired. There was an unnamable emotion in his golden eyes that you wished you could understand. “Do you think this is . . . the last timeline? It’s been two years.”

 

That meant absolutely nothing. You had been with Yoosung even longer than that, and time had still restarted on you. You felt your heart sink looking at the man across from you, and the hope that appeared there while you contemplated his question. You wanted to tell him yes, because this was the closest you had felt to having perfection . . . but deep in you, you knew that nothing was different. That same off-center feeling was still in your heart. Jumin wasn’t enough to jostle that little _clicking_ feeling. So close, and yet so far.

 

You smiled at him, but you could feel your throat closing up and tears threatening you. “I don’t think so.” You confessed to him, and you watched Luciel’s own face drop.

 

“How do you know?” He asked with quiet desperation. “Can you tell? How can you tell? Doesn’t that mean you can stop it?”

 

“I don’t know for certain.” You told him. “And I don’t know when . . . but I don’t feel like enough has changed. There’s something missing. And I don’t know what.”

 

“God!” Seven ran a hand over his face and held it there. “Then there’s no point in what I’ve been doing. I’m just going to forget all of it, aren’t I? Everything that I’ve learned! Everything V told me! Shit . . . ! I can’t . . . !”

 

“Luciel?” You reached for him, but Luciel stood up sharply and shoved his fists into his jacket’s pockets. He turned from you, and you could see his body shaking. What had happened to him over the years that had made him like this? He wasn’t as cheerful as he pretended to be in the chatroom. Was this caused by what had happened in this timeline, or was this the true Luciel? You didn’t know anymore. You hated yourself for not paying more attention to him. For not being here for him. You should’ve been there for him. Luciel needs someone by him. He needs help. Whatever he was going through, he couldn’t do it alone.

 

And that resounded in you.

 

The reverberations vibrated through your body as you stood up and grabbed his sleeve. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, chest aching. “I’ll pay more attention next time. I’ll help you, Luciel.” Luciel glanced at you once, his haunted eyes regarding you momentarily, before he shook you off and hurried away. You could only stare after him and wish that you had been better in this timeline.

 

Your phone rang in your purse, and you wiped at your face before picking it up. “Hi honey.” Your heart relaxed some at the sound of your husband’s voice even as you watched Luciel’s figure disappear into the crowd. “I’m coming home now. Luciel left early. Do you want me to bring you back some of the desserts? They have one of your favorites here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel kind of bad. I adore Jumin, but I don't know if I gave him enough love in his part of the story here. XD Dammit MC, focusing so much on Seven. I'm sorry Jumin. :(


	10. 707 Bad End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've missed writing angst.

When you woke up back in your bed, you ended up sobbing for a long time. Your heart ached at being broken once again. At learning the person you loved wasn’t enough to stop this horrible curse and that you would now have to see everyone back to the way they were. It was almost too much. For the most part you could bury that fear under the distraction of your new interactions and your everyday life with the RFA, but now alone at the beginning once more you allowed yourself to break down. Your body ached for the comfort of warm and strong arms holding you tightly. Multiple familiar voices of past lovers soothing you through nightmares you’d had in every timeline echoed in your mind, but even those were faded and only half-remembered. Jumin’s voice was the loudest, so you soaked it in while you could. You didn’t know how long your memories would last before they faded.

 

Unknown’s messages ranged in time that he would contact you. Sometimes it was the early morning, and other times it was in the middle of the day. You noticed that for many of the times he contacted you, you were lying in bed. You could no longer remember what you had been doing or what you had done before the day your life irrevocably intermingled with the RFA. You wondered if you should ask Seven to remind you. He could look up information like that for you, couldn’t he?

 

You were exhausted from your breakdown even after you had finished your introduction to your friends all over again. The first day, you had come to realize, was always the same. Every conversation and what time your friends would be on. The phone calls they made to you, and the ones you occasionally made to them instead. You knew each of the RFA members more intimately than any of them realized and none of them would ever know or remember. Your memories (at least, the ones you had grasped onto and clutched to your mind) were yours and yours alone. Even Seven couldn’t remember what you did.

 

Luciel didn’t act abnormal. His phone calls to you were the same, and he definitely seemed much more lively again. You had learned your lesson from the last timeline and didn’t shy away from him. You let yourself laugh and joke with him. For once you didn’t hold back and you didn’t feel like you were forcing yourself with your answers for him. It felt like the right choices, and your chest warmed even as it ached.

 

You would see Jumin talking as he did before, more reserved and a little stiffer than he had been when you had last talked to him, and you felt your eyes water. You missed him and imagined his words in your head. You would close your eyes and absorb the sensations you still recalled of your old husband, but you would wipe away your tears before they could fall. You would become too overwhelmed if you thought about them too much. How you yearned to be back in Jumin’s arms being held by him as you two sat on a bench and stared at the freshly-bloomed spring flowers. Remembering the warm press of Zen’s lips to your hands or cheeks or mouth as the heat of the summer sun baked your skin and the briny ocean scent surrounded you. The brush of Jaehee’s long hair as she approached you and leaned over you, making your breath catch in your chest even as you watched her breath billow out in the autumn air. The scent of Yoosung baking cookies for the winter holidays and the sound of him singing as he held you close and danced with him in the kitchen of the house the two of you bought together.

 

You closed your eyes and forced those thoughts away. You stored them all together in your heart and carefully locked them up. You wouldn’t forget them.

 

You had forgotten how much fun you’d had with Luciel before you started to date Jumin and Luciel had went to confront the hacker. You hadn’t paid attention to how much you smiled whenever he was in the chatroom, or how he seemed to preen under your praise and attention. Now that you allowed yourself to really focus on Seven, you realized that maybe your feelings for him weren’t as simple as you had thought they were. Why had it taken you so long to realize just how attached to Luciel you had always been. Was it just because you had mislabeled your affection for him as something platonic? You weren’t sure. You didn’t remember when you had fallen for Luciel, but finally you hoped he would return your attention.

 

The problem was that Luciel didn’t make his feelings easy for you to process. At times he was flirty and playful, and then in his own bouncy way he would warn you off from getting close to him. You were well-aware that his life was dangerous. You knew enough about him and remembered enough things from your past timelines to recall this. You heeded his warnings, but still inched closer to him. You let yourself get swept away in your playing with him. He made it easy to just have fun and joke and tease each other back and forth. Calling him God Seven and meowing with him always made you smile. You wanted to share that with him. How would he look reading your messages?

 

You wished that you could tell what Luciel felt for you, though. He seemed to dart in close enough for you to reach, only to dodge away and back too far out of your grasp. His attention was confusing, but you began to think it was more so for him. You had a gut feeling (and the other RFA members only enhanced and agreed with your thoughts) that Luciel wasn’t even sure what to do with himself in respect for you.

 

“Man, you’re so much fun to talk tooooo~!” Seven sighed happily on phone one night. “Were you always this fun and I just can’t remember?”

 

It was the first time that Seven had brought up recalling past timelines in this timeline. You had almost wondered if he had forgotten considering he seemed so busy and stressed by work. It was only a couple days into this timeline and you had already been through most of these chats in the last timeline, but this phone call was different. You loved hearing his excited giggle on the phone when you could catch him long enough to actually talk to you. His maid must not be there, you realized.

 

“We haven’t had a phone call like this before.” You confessed to him. “So I don’t know?”

 

“Hmmmm, I just feel like you weren’t like this before. Kind of like you’re a different person depending on who you decide to play with.” Seven’s voice was softer, and you could tell he was speaking without really thinking. Or he was thinking aloud but you could hear him. Your heart seized a bit at his words.

 

“What do you mean by that?” You asked. He had said something similar in the past timeline. “What do you mean by playing?”

 

“What? Oh! Nothing.” You heard him closing off just a bit, clearly catching the edge in your tone. But you were a bit upset then. Why would he say something like that?

 

“Do you think I’m just playing with them?” You breathed, horrified and offended at the very thought. “Luciel, I love each and every one of them. I _loved_ all of them. That was never fake!”

 

“That’s why you always chose someone different, right?” He accused, his voice a little lower and a little darker. It was a shock to you, almost enough to drench your anger but not enough. “You loved them all so much, but you still chose someone else when the time came to start over. You haven’t gone after a single one of them twice, have you?”

 

“Because I can tell that it won’t stop the resets! By me being with them . . . something about that is helping to cause time to start again! Or-or _something_!” You cried defensively. His words burned you, damaging your already weak heart. You wouldn’t cry because of his cold words. This was a side of Luciel too, you were starting to realize. There was an entire side to Luciel that you didn’t know. And you wouldn’t back down from it.

 

“So you jump from one person to the next until time stops resetting? That’s your plan?” Luciel asked, his voice unreadable to you.

 

“No!” You didn’t have a plan. Not really. “I just . . . I just want it to stop. I just want to live my life, Luciel. I never targeted anyone in the RFA. I never expected to fall in love. I can’t help that I did.” Your voice weakened as your hurt and sadness leaked into it. The accusation was just too cruel. “How could you ever think . . . I would just play around with their hearts like that? With my heart like that . . . ?”

 

 

Luciel made a small panicked noise before he sighed angrily. He muttered something under his breath to himself, but you didn’t catch it as you tried to hide the hitching of your breath. You wiped at your tears. “Okay. Okay, I get it. Please stop crying. I’m sorry.” He apologized, his voice becoming a bit more panicked and sincere as you continued to sniffle. “Shit, I didn’t mean . . . I can’t remember much from other times. I went too far. I’m sorry, really! Gah!!! Bad hero! Making your sweetie cry!! Take away my hero card!!”

 

 

You giggled wetly despite yourself, your heart fluttering at being called his sweetie. Oh you were in so deep already. Your poor pathetic heart. “You’re so mean, Seven!” You whined, only somewhat jokingly. “My heart is injured! What will you do to make it up to me?”

 

 

“Ah, nothing. I can’t do anything . . . Oh! I know! I’ll give you an IOU!! To be used sometime in the future!”

 

 

“I’ll hold you to it.”

 

 

The fifth day was when each of the timelines seemed to change. It was almost like a game where the script changed depending on which “route” you went. You wished that you could call it a game. You couldn’t say it was fun enough to be a game, though. On the fifth day everyone was alerted by strange messages and noises from their phones. Immediately Seven began to suspect the hacker once again, and your skin prickled with unease. Why was the hacker moving so soon in this timeline? Was it because you were becoming closer to Luciel? You didn’t know and that made you nervous.

 

 

Luciel seemed to be on the same boat. Because you had nothing else to focus on, the two of you talked a bit more about the other timelines and speculated with each other. Seven, when he could actually talk to you, had a nervousness about him hearing about the hacker. He was more panicked than he usually was, stressed out by his work constantly interfering with wanting to help you and the RFA. You were surprised to see yourself become so priority to him, but pleased nonetheless. It made you wonder if maybe his feelings for you corresponded with your own. Or if not, was he subconsciously aware of how dangerous Unknown was? You wished you could tell what all Seven remembered without directly asking him. You couldn’t risk putting him in danger.

 

 

Despite his nervousness, though, you could tell Luciel had pulled back from you after your conversation about your lost loves. He still chatted and played with you in the chatroom when there were others, but when you two were alone he was almost cold. He apologized for not being able to focus on finding the hacker because of work, but promised to watch you over the camera you had installed in the house. You tried to make jokes about the camera, hinting that you would put on a special show for him, and he would fluster and beg you not to. Those moments filled you with joy because that was the Seven you were used to, but then he would settle back into that slightly-distant person.

 

 

You didn’t understand why he was pulling away from you. What had you done wrong?

 

 

The others hinted more and more that they believed that Luciel had feelings for you, and your intuition confirmed it, but Luciel continued to pull away. He would avoid talking about your emotions or his. It was enough to cause concern for your friends. You were afraid to call him out on it. You didn’t want to lose his friendship, and you knew he was overstressed from everything he was doing. You didn’t doubt that he couldn’t focus on a relationship too. Seven was miraculous and amazing, but even he was human. So you accepted where Luciel had placed you in accordance to him, but you didn’t stop subtly pressing forward.

 

 

Just like it always did with the hacker, things came to a head. Luciel frantically burst into the chatroom to command you not to leave the house. That the bomb had been hacked. Your blood ran cold as once again your life was placed in danger, but you couldn’t bring yourself to freak out too much. Luciel had always fixed the bomb and protected you in the past. You were certain things would be okay. Besides, he was coming to the apartment to protect you himself. You admitted that you were a bit excited despite everything. The others admired your ability to stay so calm. You couldn’t exactly tell them this wasn’t your first experience with the apartment bomb.

 

 

You focused on the chatroom and waited to hear more words from Luciel, who claimed that he would be on his way over as soon as he could. You trusted him. You were filled with anticipation as you went to once again check the doors and the windows. It was then that the glass broke to one of the windows and in crawled Unknown. Your knees practically buckled at the sight of him. You could still recall being captured by him more than once. He talked so sweetly to you, but you wouldn’t believe his words. You couldn’t. You knew that “paradise” was nothing like he made it out to be. You wondered how this poor soul could believe it.

 

You screamed out for Seven to save you, desperately hoping that he was nearby and could hear you. Maybe Zen would come to save you like he did before. Just someone help you! But your scream only angered Unknown. He growled at you for saying Luciel’s name, enraged at the sound of it. You had made a terrible mistake, you realized. This man hated Luciel for whatever reason. He wasn’t above murder. And you had just pissed him off.

 

You wouldn’t be going to paradise. But you would go down fighting. If you held out long enough, maybe Seven would arrive in time to help you.

 

* * *

* * *

“Hello? Sorry I got here so late. It’s Luciel!”

 

“. . . Hello?”

 

“Hey! Answer me! Where are you? It's really messy in here.”

 

“Where is she . . . ?! I told her not to leave . . . ! The alarm didn’t go off . . .”

 

“Where are you?! Hey-!”

 

“What . . .”

 

“Oh God, there’s glass everywhere. HEY!! WHERE ARE YOU?! ANSWER ME!!”

 

“No. No, oh God, no!”

 

“No no no no no! Not you! No, please, no! Please be breathing!”

 

“Please don’t tell me I was too late!”

 

“I’m begging you . . . Open your eyes.”

 

“Please . . .”


	11. 707 Good End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY long chapter because things are coming together now. Lot of stuff and feelings to add, lol.
> 
> I may or may not add one final chapter. Lmk if you think I should or not :3

You woke up gasping for breath and scrambling in your blanket. It wrapped around you as you kicked out desperately, trying to fight for your life but landing no solid hits. Only after a few moments and your phone beeping to alert you to a message did you realize where you were. And when you were. You were back in your old bed. Time had reset on you again. Your hands clenched so hard in your blankets that they hurt, but the pain wasn’t enough to ground you. You began to hyperventilate, curling in on yourself as desperate and panicked sobs shook your frame.

 

You had been murdered. And this time you hadn’t been blessed enough (or drugged up enough) to forget the last timeline. You recalled everything. How you had fought with Unknown. How he had brutally attacked and overwhelmed you. How you had cried out for help and tried to grab your phone when you could. How it hadn’t been enough. How you had died.

 

You screamed into your pillow as your hands checked your entire body. You trembled with pain, but all of it was from your memories and adrenaline. You were safe now, but in your frantic mind you were still in danger. You had no choice but to ride out the horror, the memory of it playing again over and over.

 

You wanted help, but you didn’t know what to do. You could call up Seven, you realized through your foggy mind, and you knew he would pick up. You had no idea what you would say to him, though. He wouldn’t remember everything from the last timeline. He probably wouldn’t even remember that he had been coming to Rika’s apartment.

 

Oh God. Luciel had been going to Rika’s apartment to protect you when Unknown had attacked. But you had been killed before he got there. Did . . . did Luciel find you? Did he come to the apartment only to find your body? You felt like you would vomit. Your stomach was churning so much that you weren’t sure you would be able to keep down the bile threatening your throat at the very thought. You didn’t know if time reset immediately after you dying. You could only hope that it did.

 

Unknown had messaged you by the time you had finally calmed down, but seeing his name spiked your anxiety again. You knew you wouldn’t be able to get over this feeling very easily, but you needed to move on. You had to follow the game, or you would definitely run into him again. So you hurried through the motions and went back to Rika’s apartment. When you were inside and on the chat with everyone, you ignored it briefly to stare at the spot where you had died. The apartment was clean but dusty, basically impeccable. No one would know that you died there. You hoped nobody would know. You wished that you didn’t know.

 

It was easy for you to go through the motions of the first day. You had played this game enough that you knew exactly what you needed to say so that you could become close to the others but not have to worry them. None of them would suspect anything. In the meantime you had an entire day to come back to equilibrium. You had a couple more breakdowns in which you had to sit in the corner and take deep breaths. Your fingers itched to call Luciel, but you didn’t want to tell him what had happened to you. You had to suffer alone.

 

You would pace the apartment, obsessively checking the doors and windows again and again. You almost put something up to block the windows, but you couldn’t allow anyone to suspect anything. You would comfort yourself with the familiar chatrooms and by staring at where you knew the CCTV camera was for your house. You didn’t think Luciel was watching (he had no need to yet. That wouldn’t come until day five, if you played your cards right), but knowing he was on the other side helped you.

 

You went out on walks a lot more during the first four days knowing that you would be locked in your apartment in the coming days. You took the time to spend time with the friends you’d had before the RFA, but you made sure not to miss a single conversation. You had a life that came before all of this, and you knew the normalcy would help to balance you. You couldn’t let yourself be overwhelmed. Idle thoughts would be your downfall. It was hard enough sleeping at night in Rika’s apartment. As soon as you could, you wanted to leave the place.

 

You wondered to yourself, as the days began to tick by, if you should feel any kind of resentment towards Luciel. He had said he would protect you, but he hadn’t been in time to save you. You didn’t understand why. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to? Or was it because he had pulled away from you? If you tried again, would the results be the same? Luciel had said that his life was dangerous and you shouldn’t get close to him. But if you warned him ahead of time . . . would that make him come faster this time?

 

The decision you came to over the next couple of days was that you couldn’t blame him. Neither of you had known about Unknown breaking in nor that he would attack you. You would do better this time around. You would be more careful. You wouldn’t provoke Unknown, but you wouldn’t let yourself be taken either. You didn’t know if Luciel was supposed to rescue you, but you would hold out as long as you could.

 

Because you knew that would be the same path you took this time. You weren’t going to deny yourself what happiness you could get, and you wanted Luciel. You loved the entire RFA, but you knew there was something else about Luciel. Something you were inexplicably drawn to. And instinctively you knew that if you tried to get closer to Luciel, you would find more of the truth. The truth to what, you didn’t know for sure, but you suspected it was the RFA and the hacker. The hacker was related to Luciel somehow. You needed to find as much information as you could. Maybe if this was all a game, if you could solve the puzzle pieces you would finally be able to end the game.

 

You weren’t sure how religious you really were after all of these events, but you found yourself praying nonetheless.

 

Luciel didn’t seem to suspect anything was strange with you until the fifth day when he called you up. It had to be a brief phone call because of the fact that Ms. Vanderwood was on his case about working, but you appreciated him calling anyway.

 

“Ohh! Actually I had a quick question to ask you while I can. Vanderwood finally left the room long enough.” He said quickly, his voice a bit hushed so nobody could overhear him. “You keep staring at the CCTV. Why is that?”

 

You weren’t sure how to respond at first, and then you decided to just tell him the truth. “It comforts me.” You admitted.

 

“Knowing that you’re being watched? Hahaha, you’re creeping Ms. Vanderwood out~ She complains about the staring!” He sounded giddy about it. It made you smile as you continued to watch the CCTV. You wondered if Luciel was looking back at you. You wanted to see him in real life. You wanted to take in how he looked in a way you had never done before. You wanted to see his strange and beautiful eyes.

 

“The comfort comes from knowing you’re watching me every 2.35 seconds.”

 

He gave an embarrassed laugh in response, caught off-guard. It made you grin. “Don’t think I can’t see you smiling! Ohh, I feel like I’ve been tricked!! I’ll have my revenge-AH!” He yelped. “Oh no! GAH! She’s coming back! I-I gotta go. I’ll talk to you soon! Bye!”

 

As the day of the bomb being hacked got closer, you became more anxious. On the chatroom you appeared calm and collected, if a bit worried, but in real life you were all but a mess. You didn’t want to face Unknown again. You could feel the phantom pain still as you recalled how you died. Your nightmares became bad enough that you didn’t really sleep, which was fine because the others appeared at odd hours to begin with. You didn’t let them know you weren’t sleeping well. You knew that Luciel knew, though.

 

He didn’t pull away from you like you had done last time. His words were more affectionate, but his confusion was even stronger. He had even created robots while thinking about you. Zen hinted to you that because Seven had never been in a relationship before, he didn’t know how to react to having feelings. You banked on that and clung to the fact that he wasn’t pulling away. You didn’t know what had caused it, though. What had you done different in this timeline that you didn’t do in the last? You didn’t know. You hated not knowing. If time reset again, you wanted to know what to do in order to achieve the right ending.

 

When Seven told you that he was coming again to your apartment, you were more prepared. You set out a baseball bat nearby the window you knew Unknown would break through. You wouldn’t use it unless it came to a fight, but it would come in handy. In the meantime you called Seven. You wanted to make sure you knew he was coming, even though he yelled at you not to call. You were worried about him even as you prepared yourself. He scolded you for worrying about him when you were the one most in danger. It only made you smile. Maybe you had grown too accustomed to being in danger. You wouldn’t let him know you thought that.

 

Just like last time, Unknown broke in through the window and tried to take you to paradise. You were smart enough not to provoke him, but as Unknown got closer you had to call for help. Unknown didn’t become furious right away, probably because you weren’t desperately calling Seven’s name, but this time you didn’t need to. You heard the door open and a familiar voice talking to himself, which made you scream out for his help louder. Your heart cried out as Luciel rushed into the room. He tried to keep the situation calm by joking and talking to the hacker even as Unknown grabbed you and pulled out a switch. You knew without him saying that it was the switch to the bomb.

 

You watched as Luciel was blindsided with the identity of Unknown. Once again he was called Saeran, but you still didn’t know who he was. But the look of horror and shock and guilt on Seven’s face made your stomach drop for him. You could tell his world had been turned upside down. Unknown’s bitter voice was in your ear as he yelled at Luciel, but Seven still looked like he was trying to comprehend what he was seeing. He begged for Saeran to let you go, but that only exposed Seven’s budding emotions to him and his threat became more real.

 

You struggled until suddenly the alarm system went off. Your blood went cold at the sound and when Seven commanded you, you bit down on Saeran’s arm. The man cried out and you fled to Seven, who grabbed you and told Saeran to run. Saeran listened and fled, but neither of you ran after him. You clung to Luciel’s coat, shaking. Only when things calmed down did you finally ask Seven who Unknown was.

 

“That man . . .” Seven said quietly, “is my twin brother.”

 

The knowledge knocked the breath out of you, only stirring up more questions. You knew that Seven had mentioned a brother in past timelines, but it had been brief and he had avoided talking about it. What had happened between the two of them that caused Saeran to hate Luciel that much? You hadn’t understood anything the two had talked about while you had been captured. You could only remember how Saeran had killed you and how Luciel would sacrifice himself to his brother’s hatred to save you.

 

You had been killed by Luciel’s twin brother.

 

Seven put himself into his work to fix the algorithm to the special security, and you left him to it while you retreated to your bedroom. You wouldn’t let Seven see you break down. He had enough on his mind without him having to worry about you even more. But even so Seven had knocked on the door and asked you to stay where he could see you for the time being. You didn’t want to make things worse, so you sucked it up and went back out into the living room. You retreated in on yourself and buried your face into your legs.

 

The rapid typing and the soft murmuring on Seven’s voice was the only comfort you had, so you focused on it. You couldn’t let yourself get lost. You needed to be strong. You could be strong. You had to be. You had promised yourself you would be. But it was hard. It was all almost too much. You felt like you would break under the strain. You had to keep yourself busy and distracted. That was the best method you knew.

 

Luciel had made you promise not to mention Saeran by name to anyone in the RFA, and so you didn’t. Their words comforted you during the horrible time you were having. Their phone calls and reassurances were a balm your weary soul. Even though it hurt, you basked in the memories of your times with them. You let yourself remember and be happy. It was what you could do while Seven was busy.

 

Jumin had apparently taken it upon himself to get Yoosung to mature. He had called his mother of all things, which just made you grin deviously every time you saw or heard Yoosung’s pain. It was so funny how Jumin had come to that conclusion, and it was just like him to do something like that. You wished you could say you were more sympathetic towards Yoosung, but you honestly agreed with Jumin. Yoosung had always been influenced by his family and you recalled that his mother was a force to be reckoned with. She had scared you in the past, but the two of you had been fairly close. You missed her. At least calling her seemed to have honestly helped Yoosung despite his hardships.

 

Although Seven was busy, you continued to try to talk to him and bother him. He fascinated you. You called him and wanted to touch his hair and take off his glasses. You smiled as you teased him and he couldn’t resist playing back at you before he would remember his work and snap back to attention, scolding you for bothering him. It became a game to you, and it made you happy even when he told you off. You could see him once again trying to pull away from you, pushing your back so you wouldn’t get close to him. You knew him enough to understand now what he was doing. He was protecting you by keeping you at a distance, just as you had done to him in the last timeline. You wouldn’t be dissuaded, though.

 

You found Seven’s floppy disk by accident, hidden inside a children’s book. Curiosity had pushed you to want to see what was on it, but Seven had snapped at you and had taken the book back. He continued to push you away, telling you to just ignore him and be angry with him. You couldn’t do that, though. You wanted to be close to him, but he didn’t want your affection. His words bit into your heart, but you didn’t let him bring you down. You could be stubborn just like him, and you would be gently stubborn to him as long as it took.

 

He didn’t want you looking after him, but you wouldn’t let his harsh words keep you from checking up on him and reminding him to eat and sleep.

 

“How can you tell me to eat and sleep when you won’t?” Luciel suddenly snapped at you one evening. “Jeez, I bought sushi for you again and everything, but you barely ate any of it! I thought you liked sushi?”

 

“I do, but I won’t eat unless you join me.” You were adamant about that. He was barely eating. Even the few snacks he brought with him and were scattered around him didn’t do much. His mental state had to be a mess with the fact that he had abandoned his job, had to deal with Mint Eye, and now having learned that his brother was the hacker. You wanted to be of some help to him. The stress couldn’t be good. He was going to break, and that was why you didn’t take his mean words to heart. People said nasty things when they were worried and stressed.

 

“God!” You saw the moment that he caved, finally standing up from where he had been sitting in the corner for hours to go to you, “I already told you-” He froze and you frowned in confusion. However he was no longer looking at you but instead at a spot on the floor. His eyes were wide with a familiar look to them, and you took a step closer to touch his shoulder when his gaze suddenly snapped to you. All of the blood had drained from his face and a suddenly shaking hand came to his mouth.

 

“Luciel?” You asked quietly.

 

“Oh my God.” Luciel sounded like the words had been punched out of him. You name slipped desperately from his mouth as you were pulled to him. His hug was too strong, pushing the air out of your lungs as he clung to you. You could hear his breathing was too fast.

 

“Seven, what is it? Tell me! Are you okay?”

 

“Me? Me?! I don’t care about me!” He cried, and you heard the tears in his voice. “Shit! Oh God, I was too late! I was too late and-!” He cut himself off with a sob, fingers clenching the back of your shirt. You understood then what he had remembered, and you cursed God for betraying Seven like that as he wept for you. Sympathetic tears appeared in your own eyes as Seven’s knees buckled and you had to lower the two of you to the floor. He apologized again and again, but you didn’t say anything in response. The pain of dying and the weight of everything began to overwhelm you again, and you cried too. You tried to reassure him through your own tears even as he begged for your forgiveness.

 

“I don’t blame you.” You said again and again. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault!”

 

He didn’t listen to you, but eventually he did start to calm down. You continued to just hold him through it, knowing that was what he needed. Reassurance that you were there, just as you had needed reassurance that you were alive. You pressed your face to his shoulder and let his jacket soak up your own tears. You were sure the two of you looked absolutely terrible, which would’ve made you laugh if it had been another time.

 

Once he was a little more stable, you pushed him back just enough so you could cup his face. His glasses were smeared with tears and his face was red and blotchy from crying. You only pushed his glasses up and away from his face and stared at him until his breathing had calmed down a bit more. And then you smiled gently, blinking the last of your tears from your eyes.

 

“I don’t blame you.” You told him once again. “It was a different timeline. And you saved me this time. Everything is okay.”

 

“But I didn’t make it in time. I had promised you I would protect you, and I failed.” Seven said, his voice rough and weak.

 

“Then from now on, make sure you do.” You laughed sadly. “I’ve learned at least one thing from all of these resets and it’s that you can’t let the past drag you down. You have to keep pressing forward, or we’ll never move forward at all. You made up for the last timeline.”

 

“Shit, it was the last timeline?” He asked, horrified. “That’s why you kept checking the windows and the doors even before I told you to do so. And why you weren’t sleeping much. I can’t believe I missed that . . . ! Are you okay?”

 

“Not really.” You confessed. “But I will be because you’re here. You saved me, Luciel.”

 

Luciel swallowed, his golden eyes scanning your face free from his glasses that usually blocked them, before he dropped his forehead to tap against yours. His eyes glanced to where you had died before he squeezed them shut. You dropped your hands to grab his and gripped them tightly.

 

“I’m a dangerous man.” He whispered.

 

“I’m okay with that.” You whispered back.

 

“You shouldn’t be.” He snapped.

 

“I have to be.” You shrugged helplessly. “My life has been one danger after another since I joined the RFA for the very first time. I don’t want to be in danger, but if it means we solve the mysteries and we all become happy without time resetting again . . . I’m willing to be in danger.” You squeezed his hands again. “As long as you’re by my side when things get really dangerous.”

 

“I will be.” He promised. “I messed up last time, but I won’t this time. You chose me again. I’ll protect you this time, I swear to God.”

 

You smiled and resisted the almost-overwhelming urge to kiss him. His lips were right there and he was so close. You could feel and smell his every breath. Your body ached from holding yourself back. You knew this would be a good time to kiss him, but you knew he wasn’t ready yet. There was too much happening. You didn’t want to distract him. You could try to kiss him later. You would have other chances. You would choose him again and again. So instead you let out a shaky breath and pulled away.

 

“Good.” You said. “Then let’s go eat.”

 

Seven kept trying to contact V. You knew it had to do with Saeran because you overheard a couple of his messages that he left the man. You liked V and knew him more than anybody else in the world thought you did. You had spent plenty of time with him while you had been married to Jumin, and even more time than you had expected to while married to Yoosung. V didn’t return his calls, but one day he appeared on the chatroom with you and Seven. From there things went downward, and you watched V shatter the trust of all of the RFA members. You couldn’t do anything but try to help Seven hold it together even as he confessed to wanting to just shut down.

 

He began to distance himself as well from the RFA. He told everyone the truth about Saeran being his brother. He told you that after everything you should quit. You didn’t understand why he was deciding your path for you. It wasn’t his choice. You tried to argue that it wasn’t fair of him to ignore your feelings just because he wanted to, but he had only shouted at you. He emphasized the fact that you were in constant danger no matter how okay you were with it. You knew he was just worried for you, but he rejected you over and over again and left to sit in the hallway.

 

Did you do something wrong? Was the timeline going to end badly again? You were scared and hurt and angry, but mostly you were sad. You hated that V had made Seven feel this way and that he had betrayed the RFA. Jumin refused to even talk about the situation, and nobody knew how to react. It became worse when Seven fought with Yoosung, also pushing the RFA away. He broke Meowy in a fit of his own anger. He talked about leaving and disappearing. You didn’t know if he meant by choice or because the agency would . . .

 

No. You wouldn’t let this take you down. Not after everything. Seven needed your help. He was lashing out, but you would take the hits if it meant you could show you wouldn’t leave. You wouldn’t let him shove you aside. You wouldn’t let him shove his happiness away. You didn’t know his story fully, but you knew he preferred to run instead of confronting his emotions. You wouldn’t let him do it alone, even if it hurt you.

 

And eventually your stubborn streak began to work. When his stress had calmed back down enough that he wasn’t freaking out, Seven began to fix Meowy. You sat down with him and talked to him as he worked.

 

“You really can’t be discouraged, can you?” He asked wryly. He was exhausted, you could see. You were sure those bags under his eyes would become a permanent thing. “Since we’re talking about it . . . you didn’t say those things to the others before, did you? In past timelines?” He glanced at you curiously.

 

“Sometimes I did. Never exactly like I’ve told you, though.” You confessed, watching him back. “I just like being honest because I like you, Seven.”

 

His face flushed a bit at your sudden confession and he stuttered. “So, be-be careful saying things like that.” He scolded. He swallowed. “Actually . . . No! Don’t say that ever again . . . especially to the other guys. And Jaehee. Well, I mean . . . I guess I shouldn’t say that . . . who knows what’ll happen when time resets again . . . but . . .”

 

“Seven.” You touched his arm to bring his attention back to you, and your eyes softened at his defeated face. He looks like he had already given up before you two had ever really started. You didn’t want him to think like that. “I won’t say it to the others. Or anyone else. I’ll only say it to you.” You leaned against his arm and closed your eyes, your own exhaustion washing over you. “I don’t want anybody else. If time resets, I’ll choose you again. And again.” You smiled a bit. “You’re stuck with me now.”

 

You didn’t look at his face and instead watched his hands, where they fiddled nervously with the pieces of Meowy. His breath stuttered out of him. “Al . . . Alright.” He finally said weakly. “Ugh . . . I feel hot. Let’s talk about something else.”

 

You let him move the conversation elsewhere, and you ended up talking about Saeran. He showed you the floppy disk you had found, and how there were pictures of Saeran on it from when he was younger. He looked just like Seven, and it surprised you. You had grown used to how the hacker looked, so seeing this child was a shock to your system. Seven told you his story of how he grew up in a bad household with an abusive mother and a father that didn’t live with them but threatened to kidnap and kill them. You couldn’t believe how horrible it was and how a person like Seven had grown up in such a place. He had met Rika and V way back then and got his new name Luciel from the church they went to. You learned that he studied programming because of them.

 

You finally knew why Seven was so shattered by V’s betrayal and the meeting with Saeran. Because V and Rika had promised to take care of Saeran while Seven joined the agency. So why was Saeran working with Mint Eye, and did that mean V was part of it? It was too horrifying to think about.

 

Talking about Saeran opened Seven up to you, more. And finally he gave into your feelings. You knew that one day the agency would come after him. You knew it would only be more dangerous from there. The deeper you went into this mystery, the more likely it was that one or both of you would die or be hurt again. But you didn’t care. You would be there for Seven. As long as he was by your side, you were willing to do anything. And you hoped that he would never forget that.

 

It seemed to settle some kind of resolve in Seven. He seemed stronger and steadier to you as you both joined the chatroom again and he apologized to Yoosung. He wasn’t 100% okay, but he was better. You two would sit together on the couch as he continued to search for Mint Eye’s base and while he talked on the chatroom. You two talked more in general, and the relief in your heart was great. Things were still bad, but the RFA was more united again with Seven back together.

 

“You . . .” Seven began one night during dinner when you forced him to sit down and eat with you. You paused with your sandwich partway to your mouth, noticing a change in him. He was quiet for a long period, not continuing, before he met your gaze. His voice was soft as he said your name, his words careful when he asked, “You’ve . . . been to Mint Eye, haven’t you?”

 

You didn’t move. Your mind seized at the memories that bloomed in your mind at his question. You didn’t let any of it show on your face, although by the worried look that appeared in his eyes you could tell you weren’t completely successful. You had to remember that Seven really was an expert at reading body language. “Yes.” You finally told him. Then you added wryly, “And so have you.”

 

He opened his mouth to ask you another question, and then closed it seeming to think better of it. He changed his mind and instead asked, “Do you remember where it is at all? Or anything there? . . . Can you tell me anything about it?” He was giving you an opening to lie and tell him no. He was willing to let you do so. But you wanted to help him. And you trusted him.

 

“I don’t . . . remember most of it. My memories are very foggy of my times at Mint Eye.” His hand abruptly clenched into a fist, and you realized that you had let slip that you had been at Mint Eye more than once. “I was usually . . . unconscious or drugged up. Or I’ve forgotten most of it. I only remember vague things . . . like chanting. And a woman’s voice that was so nice to me . . . and being chained in a cell and I . . .” You looked down, guilty. “I knew about Saeran. Or at least . . . I knew his name and that he was somehow related to you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

 

“You knew?” He asked, shocked.

 

“I didn’t know he was your brother. I just knew that you knew each other and that . . . he hated you.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You could tell he was restraining his hurt. You wanted to reach for his hand and hold it, but you didn’t.

 

“Because,” You told him, voice breaking some, “I didn’t want to risk you remembering that timeline.”

 

Seven’s expression softened then in understanding. He looked down at his food, picking at the bread of his sandwich. “That bad?”

 

“I don’t remember most of it, but I remember enough that I don’t want you to remember. Because I . . . don’t think you had the blessing of being drugged up for . . . whatever they did to you.”

 

Seven didn’t respond to that. Neither of you could bring yourselves to finish eating afterwards.

 

Despite V telling you both not to, you and Seven turned off the security and looked through the drawers. To your horror, you discovered information about Mint Eye and that Rika was connected to it. You both came to the quick conclusion, despite desperately wishing you were wrong, that Rika and V were part of Mint Eye. Possibly having been leaders. The others couldn’t deny the proof, even though Yoosung refused to believe Rika willingly chose to be part of Mint Eye. You knew that no convincing could change his mind. He loved Rika, and you knew that would never change.

 

There was enough information in the drawers that Luciel tracked down the place and knew that he had to go there to get information and, if he could, find Saeran. You both knew you would be going with him. You wouldn’t let him take the journey alone. You both regretted that it was so close to the party date, but Seven was certain you both could make it back in time. You were just glad he agreed to take you with him, even if you hated the thought of going back to Mint Eye’s base. You didn’t know what you would find. You hoped none of it triggered anything in Seven’s memories.

 

If there was an upside to everything that was happening, it was that Seven seemed to have returned more or less to normal. He joked around and played with you and accepted your touches. You could hug him if you wanted, and you giggled when he would suddenly grab your around the waist and drop you two onto the couch. You both needed the break even though it cut into your packing for the trip. His smile was a delight to see, the honest happiness on his face something you had forgotten the sight of. You didn’t resist your impulse this time and kissed him properly, wishing to taste the smile on his lips. He hadn’t tasted like Honey Buddha Chips like you had expected, but the Ph.D Pepper was definitely there. It left you craving more, although he pulled back before you could escalate things. One thing the timelines didn’t do to you was make you less bold.

 

That night Seven also actually slept before you two were to leave. You shared the bed with him and soaked up the feeling of sleeping in his arms. You had sweet dreams that night, a nice break from the horrors of your life at the moment. Your dreams were a mixture of memories from your past loves and warm times that had been with them. The few you had with Seven also was interspersed, interrupting the smooth flow of memories with straight up imagination. You hoped to make good memories with him soon.

 

You two made it into the base and inside without any major problems. You had followed all of Seven’s instructions outside of Mint Eye, and together you had done your first infiltration mission. It was a bit exciting seeing what kind of things he had done as an agent, even if you didn’t like his job at all. You knew he hated doing it.

 

Inside you two found Saeran, but the confrontation hadn’t ended well. You could tell that something was wrong with him immediately. You knew from Seven’s few stories of his brother that he had told you that Saeran wasn’t a bad person. And you knew that Mint Eye used substances on the people inside of it. Saeran couldn’t have been in his right mind. You wondered if he was brainwashed too, and if that was actually a thing. You and Seven both desperately tried to show him the truth, even backing up your evidence with the pictures of him on the floppy disk. It had been too much for Saeran to handle, his words becoming more insane by the moment. However instead of attacking, he fled and slammed the door to the computer room, locking both you and Seven inside.

 

Seven insisted that Jumin didn’t need to send anyone to save them yet and that he would get you both out. He had all of the information he needed about Mint Eye on his computer, and he could forward it to whoever he needed to. Finding Saeran became the priority, especially seeing that he wasn’t okay. You couldn’t do much but encourage Seven and keep him calm while he tried to hack into the system to open the door.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked at one point while his computer loaded something. You looked up from messaging Zen on your phone at his question. He quickly looked at you to check you were paying attention before turning back to his computer.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“. . . Are you okay with helping me find Saeran? I mean . . . You two . . .”

 

You understood what he was trying to say. Saeran had murdered you. He had kidnapped you more than once. He had tortured and possibly killed you more than once as well. That part . . . you were purposely avoiding thinking about. You were rather terrified of Saeran, and you were still shaken from being in close quarters with him, but you wouldn’t allow your trauma to hold you back. He was Seven’s brother, and you clung to the belief that Saeran _wasn’t_ that type of person. You forced yourself to not consider things that happened in past timelines as sins against Saeran. Because Saeran was someone Seven loved dearly, and you could deal with your trauma after everything was done. You could be strong.

 

You smiled at Seven. “I’m okay with helping you find Saeran.” You told him honestly. You didn’t tell him the rest. It would be counterproductive at this point. You were in this until the end.

 

Seven paused briefly in what he was doing and reached for you. You scooted closer to him, and he gently pulled your head closer until he kissed you softly. “Thank you.” He whispered gratefully. “But once we get out of here, don’t lie to me.”

 

“Get us out of here first, God Seven.” You teased before you pulled back from him so he could focus on his work.

 

It took a long time, but finally Seven did get the door open. You two rushed out as fast as you could hoping to track down Saeran and discovered tire tracks near Seven’s car. Saeran must have escaped. You were just about to get in the car and go after him when V appeared. You had never seen Seven quite so silently angry as you had then. V looked exhausted and sad, but you couldn’t trust him. You and Seven no longer trusted this man, but he swore that he saw someone take Saeran. It could only be Vanderwood, who must have been sent to capture Seven. Only V’s earnestness is what convinced Seven to believe him. It was your only lead on where Saeran had gone. 

 

There was absolutely no way that the two of you would be able to go to the party then. Saeran was in the agency’s hands, and they would use him again Seven. Seven wouldn’t allow it to happen. You both agreed to skip the party and instead track down Vanderwood and Saeran and rescue the other Choi brother. The others agreed to hold the party without either of you, although regretfully. You listened to their phone calls wishing you both good luck and making you promise to come back.

 

You finally learned Seven’s real name, and he asked all of you to call him that from now on.

 

“I feel so sad that we’re missing the party.” Saeyoung said. You sat in the car listening to Jumin’s speech at the party over the radio while he continued to track the coordinates of Vanderwood. The moment was peaceful and almost bittersweet, but the day was nice enough that you couldn’t feel too much regret.

 

“It’s okay. I could use a break from RFA parties, if I’m honest.” You joked. The wind blew your hair in your face, so you brushed it away.

 

Saeyoung laughed a bit. “Oh yeah. From your point of view, you were recently at one right?”

 

You hummed in agreement. “Couple of weeks ago for me.”

 

He was quiet for a moment before he said, “I’m so sorry . . . for making you suffer.”

 

You looked again him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

“For this timeline . . . and the last. My heart . . . has been yours for a long time now. Even since before you chose me.” He placed aside his computer and turned to you, grabbing your hand. You stared at him in surprise at his confession. He smiled gently. “I never said it because it didn’t matter . . . but I’m sure I’ve loved you in every timeline. I don’t know if at the end of all of this time will reset again, but please choose me again if you do. I’ll make you happy. I’ll prove it to you . . . I’ll be a happy Saeyoung with you.”

 

Saeyoung leaned down, and you met his kiss. You didn’t know if time would reset. You were happy now, although you knew not all of the mysteries were solved. What you did know was that the piece of your heart that always felt off wasn’t bothering you anymore. But you weren’t reassured quite yet. You knew that if time reset, you would go after Saeyoung again. You would call his real name and tell him everything that you knew. You would try again and again with him until you both figured out how to get the true end.

 

One day the resets would stop. Until then, you would keep this warmth with you. No more mistakes.


	12. After End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you noticed, I made this story the first part of a series. Which doesn't mean I have, like follow-up stories planned. Actually I have an "alternate ending" planned that I was gonna write a oneshot about. So keep an eye out for that after this story ends if you're interested! Also you'll notice that in the beginning I did a skip before things got steamy. I have plans to write that first time for them :3 That will also be in the series.

When you had first been convinced to join the RFA, you could have never anticipated how deep this particular rabbit hole went. You had known after two or three resets that there was something horribly strange going on. Supernatural, even. A game you had never wanted to participate in that all had started because you had been connected to Unknown and it had sent your life spiraling out of your control. Unknown had been your white rabbit, and now you were on a new kind of chase after him. At least you had a partner to go with you.

 

Saeyoung had arranged a meeting with the agency, a trade of sorts for Saeran’s life. Saeyoung had already told you that the agency was well-aware of his skills and knew better than to take his words lightly. He had threatened to destroy them all if they so much as touched Saeran badly. It had been terribly beautiful to watch the playful man you loved dearly become this vengeful dark angel willing to destroy many to rescue a person dear to him. You would admit secretly that it had been a turn-on. You contemplated whether to tell Saeyoung this, but then let the moment pass.

 

Saeyoung had offered himself in exchange for Saeran. It was an exchange that he was never planning on following through upon. He was banking on his knowledge of Vanderwood and his relationship with the man. (Because, apparently, Mary Vanderwood the 3rd really _was_ a man. Saeyoung confessed with a grin that he just loved to call the man a woman because it was hilarious.) Saeyoung’s plan was somewhat scary and needed minute details to be perfect and work in just the right way, but you trusted him. You trusted his plans and his mind and his capability. Together you two would save Saeran.

 

“If anything goes wrong, we’ll try again next time.” Saeyoung said seriously. The two of you were curled up together in the bed of the last hotel you would be in until you were with Saeran again. Your fingers nervously messed with the buttons of his shirt, needing something to do about your anxiousness. No matter how much you trusted Saeyoung, you knew that plans often went awry. You had no choice but to try to ignore the horrible “what-ifs” that your brain was providing. Your fingers clenched into the front of his shirt, your body shivering with the memory of the last timeline.

 

Saeyoung whistled to catch your attention, and you looked at him. His legs tangled with yours as he removed his glasses, placing them near you two on the bed. You wondered if either of you would accidentally roll onto them. The frames looked strong at least. Saeyoung called your name this time, and your eyes snapped back to him. You couldn’t help your distracted mind.

 

“You’re shaking. Are you alright?” He asked, once again trying to be sure of your mental state. You wondered if he had always been such a worrier, but then you supposed that yes he always had been.

 

“I’m scared.” You confessed. He opened his mouth, no doubt to reassure you, but you placed your fingers to his mouth to stop him. “Yes, I’m scared about tomorrow. But I’m more . . . scared of dying again.” His golden eyes darkened at those words. “We can always try again, but I have to admit that dying isn’t fun. So the threat of it happening again so soon after the last one . . . it’s just making me tremble. I can’t help the reaction.”

 

“I won’t let you die.” He swore to you, cupping your cheek. Your hand dropped back to his shirt where your fingers returned to playing with his buttons. You got one undone. “I promised that I’ll protect you, so please trust me. I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you. I would rather die first.”

 

“I don’t want that to happen either!” You whimpered, hand gripping his shirt again as a tremor ran through you. You recalled his screams when he had been locked in Mint Eye’s cell. You stared at him with wide eyes, taking in his face. “If it comes down to something like that, I want to die first. Because then at least we know things will reset faster.”

 

He paled at the very thought. “Don’t . . . I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. ‘Who should die first?’ No, I don’t want that at all. I don’t think I can handle seeing you like that again. Shit!” He sighed a shaky breath, lips pressing to your forehead. You were still shaking some, but at least it was calming down. You apologized to him for reminding him. You had forgotten that he had his own trauma from the last timeline. You didn’t want him to experience that a second time either, but you would still prefer to die first. “Let’s talk about something else.”

 

“I love you.” You told him, fingers pressing and stroking the thin skin you had exposed by opening his shirt a bit. It made heat flutter in your chest, a familiar feeling of desperate want beginning to burn in you. You held yourself back, though. His phone began to speak, alerting you both to the update it had been tracking. You reached to grab the phone and bring it to him, but he stopped you by assuring you he could hear it just fine. He cupped the back of your head and pulled you even closer to him. You didn’t resist pressing your face to his neck as he held your waist.

 

“I know you’re really scared. I’m sorry. I promise everything will be over by tomorrow . . .” He murmured to you. His words were soft and you knew he didn’t want you to see his face. So you just breathed and listened as he spoke a gentle confession to you. About his disbelief and his desires and his fears. You absorbed how your name sounded coming from his mouth, closing your eyes as you breathed in the soft musk of his scent. “Tonight might be our last night together. Or . . . we might be able to spend the rest of our lives together. Maybe when you fall asleep tonight, we’ll wake up in different beds again. I hope that doesn’t happen. I want to see your face when I wake up tomorrow.”

 

You wanted to tell him that you didn’t think such a terrible thing would happen. There was a feeling of expectation in you. Almost like a feeling of everything being _right_ even when so much was terrifically wrong. You had grown used to the feeling that came right before time reset on you, and you were relieved to have at least one certainty in your life at the moment. But you didn’t tell him. Soon, you decided, you would tell him. Reassure him so that pressure was off of his mind. But now his words were echoing in you.

 

“I don’t know the results . . . but if tonight is our last . . . I want to do one thing.” He said. “Can I . . . be a bit selfish to you?” His hand gently stroked down over your neck to your collarbones, and you lifted your head to meet his gaze. His lids were lowered, and his cheeks were a warm pink, but his eyes were heated with an intense passion you had seen in the eyes of others. Your heart sparked and kicked into a trot at the sight, desire immediately flooding your system as the sparks ignited the mellow arousal that had been beginning to permeate you before. “I know that it won’t matter in case time does reset . . . but I want to leave on you evidence . . . that I existed. That our time together hasn’t been a vague dream that both of us remembered one day. I want to hold you tight and love you all night so that you can remember me forever.”

 

“Saeyoung,” you breathed out, shifting yourself upwards to be face-to-face with him on the bed. You were burning in the light of his molten gold eyes. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You hadn’t been this affected by another person in what seemed like forever ago, “I could never forget you. No matter what.”

 

“Then let me have this assurance from you.” He demanded, even as it came off as a quietly desperate request.

 

You licked your dry lips. “Then take it.” You commanded him, and moved first to kiss him.

 

* * *

The plan was a fairly simple one that required Vanderwood to work together with you all. Saeyoung knew how the agency worked and knew that they would have Vanderwood do the exchange. Neither of you were naïve enough to think the man would be there alone, though. Saeran was awake and blank of expression as the exchange went on. If anything he snarled at Saeyoung when he got too close or tried to talk to him. You stayed quiet, instead letting Saeyoung take the lead. This was his territory. You were only back up.

 

The plan went off without much of a hitch. Vanderwood, like Saeyoung had predicted, preferred to live and was also not naïve enough to believe the agency would let him live even if he did get Saeyoung. He fled with you, holding onto the unconscious Saeran as you proved your own driving skills. Maybe not as clean as Saeyoung’s driving, but Saeyoung had been shot in the arm so you took control.

 

The four of you went to the safehouse you had stayed at with Saeyoung. Vanderwood had attempted to patch up Saeyoung the best he could considering the circumstances, but you didn’t have many materials. You found yourself staring at Saeran, recognizing the similarities between Saeyoung and his twin brother in the relaxed lines of his face. There was stress on this boy’s face as well. A part of you was still terrified to be near him, paranoia telling you he would attack and kill you again, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be overwhelmed by such thoughts when he looked so much like Saeyoung. You wanted to help him, you realized.

 

But Saeran, when he had woken up, betrayed you all. He managed to get a hold of Vanderwood’s phone and had called for Mint Eye. And V showed up instead with the cult members in tow. You weren’t proud of your struggles, desperation filling your mind. You had cried and fought back viciously unable to control the instinctive urge to run. You had been captured before by Mint Eye in a similar situation to this. You didn’t want to go again. Only Saeyoung calming you down so you wouldn’t be knocked unconscious and V quietly telling you to listen kept you from doing anything too frantic.

 

You all had been taken back to Mint Eye’s base where you finally discovered the horrible truth. Rika was alive and the leader of Mint Eye. She was the sweet voice of an angel you had recalled in past timelines speaking to you soothingly when you had been Mint Eye’s prisoner. The very sight and sound of her felt like a blow to your stomach. This was a woman you had trusted because of the RFA. The woman that Yoosung refused to believe could do wrong. The one that Jumin’d had feelings for in the past. A person the entire RFA had beloved greatly because of her kindness.

 

You had never known the woman personally, but the betrayal felt like a stab to the stomach. If you all survived and escaped from Mint Eye, how could you possibly break the hearts of all of the people you had loved? It was horrific enough to see it on Saeyoung’s face.

 

Rika commanded that all of you be forced to join the cult of Mint Eye. It made you tremble. This was what they had been trying to do to you all of those times you had forgotten. All of these people were brainwashed to believe they were doing good. You didn’t understand why Rika was acting like that, but you recalled from past timelines that she had a mental illness. You didn’t know if anyone in this timeline was aware of that. You kept your mouth shut about it for now. It would do no good. Ill or not, Rika had done terrible things to Saeran. And that was unforgivable.

 

You were all thrown in the cells, stripped of all of your electronics. You had immediately huddled up to Saeyoung, your body trembling instinctively as cloudy memories tried to invade your mind. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused on the present as Saeyoung and Vanderwood discussed what they would do. Saeyoung had already managed to contact Jumin briefly, but both of you knew he hadn’t finished what all he needed to tell Jumin. There was no guarantee that he would find you all in time.

 

“I know you’re scared.” Saeyoung whispered to you, cupping your face between his hands. “Shh, we’re still here and fine. Are you alright?”

 

“Peachy.” You joked with a smile, even as you gripped the sides of his jacket tightly to try to halt your shaking. “It’s just drafty in here.”

 

You could see he attempted to smile at your joke, proud of you for maintaining a strong persona, but he couldn’t quite manage it. Instead he slipped off his jacket, wincing as he jostled his wound, and put the jacket over your shoulders. “Wear this so you don’t feel too cold.”

 

“You should worry about yourself more.” Vanderwood scolded, eyes darting between you and Saeyoung. “You’re the one still losing blood.” You looked at Saeyoung’s wounded arm. Despite the bandage, it was still bleeding. All of the aggravation probably had not helped it.

 

You weren’t too sure you wanted Vanderwood’s opinion on things considering he had tried to kill Saeyoung and Saeran not too long ago, so you ignored him. You had to agree with his point though. “Let me tighten your bandage.” You told Saeyoung.

 

You all were mostly shocked as V soon enough was thrown into the cells with you. None of you understood. Wasn’t V on Rika’s side? But you recalled how coldly Rika had treated V. You wondered if you had ever seen him in Mint Eye in your past timelines, but you couldn’t remember. No matter how he was questioned, V insisted everything was his fault even when he barely explained. Saeyoung didn’t look willing to listen to him. You were inclined to agree.

 

But one thing V did do was provide Saeyoung with a phone. It had enough power in it that Saeyoung would be able to contact Jumin, and so he did. Relief filled your heart. You couldn’t help it. You didn’t know how long it was take Jumin to get there, but the fact was that he _was_ going to come. And that was enough to almost make you cry. You would all get out of it alive. That was what you wanted. Was this the mystery you had needed to uncover to finish the “game”? Would solving this riddle and making it out alive stop the resets? You prayed it would do so even if you didn’t have time to actually pray.

 

Saeyoung managed to also call Meowy, the robot cat, to find you all. You didn’t know what all Meowy was capable of, but you had to admit how impressed you were. The cat came bearing some tomatoes from the outside, which Saeyoung immediately handed to you to eat. You didn’t argue with him. You didn’t have time to argue because Meowy hadn’t made it down to the cells unseen. Rika had followed him. V had attempted to talk to her, but once again she was cold to him. It sent chills down your spine. This woman had blinded V and was the leader of a cult. Your stomach felt sick. You couldn’t eat even if you wanted to.

 

The four of you were dragged back upstairs to where the “ceremony” to introduce you all to Mint Eye was to occur. You cringed at the very thought, your body shaking without your consent. You didn’t remember the horrors you had gone through, but you knew it did. You were absolutely terrified. The chanting filled your nightmares from past timelines, and Saeran’s voice only made it worse. His laugh and his grin. You tried to hold yourself together for Saeyoung’s sake, but it was so hard. You couldn’t stop the tears if you tried, but you focused hard on the situation. You needed to remember it. Just in case things went bad. In case Jumin wasn’t fast enough.

 

Rika’s plan seemed to be coming to fruition. Introducing the RFA one by one to Mint Eye and reuniting everyone under the thought of it being a “good cause”. You didn’t understand how far gone she had to be to think that what she was doing to people was helping them. None of you wanted to be part of Mint Eye. How was this helping anyone? Helping these poor people who were currently missing from their homes? You understood now why V preferred to just tell the RFA that Rika had committed suicide. This horrible secret would’ve been too much to bear. Rika’s pedestal was too high for the RFA.

 

Saeran was Rika’s quiet helper until the moment she suggested that Saeyoung would also be joining Mint Eye. He snapped and turned on Rika, screaming about how she had promised him that he would get to kill Saeyoung. Your hand shot out automatically to grab Saeyoung’s hand, and he gripped yours tightly. Rika commanded for Saeran to stop, but it appeared that Saeran was beyond anyone’s control . . . even his own. You recognized that crazed fury. It had been what killed you last time.

 

Rika commanded for her followers to reeducate Saeran in the ways of Mint Eye. You could only assume that meant brainwash him. Saeyoung cried out, but Saeran was already backing into the corner shrieking. From his waistband he pulled out a gun and gripped his hair. His eyes were manic as he screamed and talked to himself. Saeyoung jerked forward and ran to his brother before you or Vanderwood or V could react. The cult members yanked the three of you back. It was chaos. The only thing you could focus on was Saeyoung so close to his mad brother. He put himself between the cult members and Saeran, begging them not to touch his brother. He gripped his arm, no doubt in pain, and refused to move away from Saeran as he attempted to protect his brother while he could. Even then there was only so much he could do. He was exhausted and lacking blood. It was enough to cause him to faint.

 

“Saeyoung!!” You screamed, terrified. No no no no! Saeyoung couldn’t die! Not now! Not when you two had gotten so far!! Vanderwood struggled and called out for Seven as well as he attempted to get away, but the cult members were too strong. V begged Rika to make them stop. Saeran only screamed louder, his voice cutting through the din as he turned and shouted at V, blaming him for everything. The next thing you knew, a gunshot rang out and you heard a soft pained sound emit from V.

 

Your hands flew to your lips in horror at the sight of V clutching his chest and falling to the ground. Rika ran to him, her face clearer than you had ever seen it. They whispered to each other words you were unable to hear as the world froze around all of you. You saw the exact moment V’s life let him, the soft smile on his face as he gazed sightlessly at his fiancée burning into your mind. Rika's devastated shriek pierced through you, sure to haunt your dreams to come. You knew what that kind of pain felt like.

 

There wasn’t much time to process the shock. Just like in the movies when it was too late, Jumin’s security force arrived and busted in to begin arrests. Everything was a blur to you, your mind unable to comprehend everything that was happening. You didn’t know if it was shock, but you recalled your ears ringing. You couldn’t breathe well. Your mind told you to search for Saeyoung, to confirm with your eyes that he had survived, but you couldn’t stop looking at V. He was dead. Someone had died. You had failed.

 

You recalled familiar arms wrapping around your shoulders, a voice you loved commanding others even as he tried to comfort you. You looked up and felt tears roll down your face as you found Jumin looking back at you. You saw the pain in his eyes no matter how he tried to hide it. You knew Jumin far too well. Your heart broke for him, understanding that he had just lost his best friend.

 

“Are you alright?” He asked you quickly even as his head jerked back and forth to watch what was happening around you both.

 

“Saeyoung . . . ?” You whimpered out.

 

“He’s alive. I already have him being rushed to the hospital along with his brother. Come with me.” He turned to rush you through the building and outside to where you saw a helicopter waiting. You remembered vaguely going up into the air safe by Jumin’s side. It was only when you saw the building disappearing in the distance did sobs wrack through you. Your hands shook violently and you bit down on your lip to try to hold back a high-pitched noise that built in your throat. Jumin pulled you close to him, and you buried your face into his shoulder as you began to wail in earnest.

 

* * *

The days passed without much of your notice. You supposed that you were in shock, but it was hard to tell. You would talk to your friends, but you couldn’t recall about what. You were able to stay in the hospital with Saeyoung during the day as he recovered, but soon enough he was released. You couldn’t recall what all you talked with him about, but you did remember him holding you. You don’t recall talking a whole lot, but if you did you don’t remember what about.

 

You couldn’t sleep very well. You had too many nightmares. You didn’t like being alone. Jaehee was understanding enough to let you stay with her rather than in Rika’s apartment. Later, though, when Jaehee became too busy dealing with the hospital and repercussions of Mint Eye, you temporarily moved into Saeyoung’s house. He didn’t mind you staying and even went so far as to insist on it. You two took comfort in each other, although you couldn't say you slept much better. There were more nights where you laid against Saeyoung’s shoulder and you two would doze off, but one or the other jerking awake would wake you both.

 

During the day Saeyoung stayed at the hospital for Saeran. You didn't see Saeyoung very often at all. You spent more time out of the house than in it. You had people you could visit, although the only people you could really talk to about what had happened were too busy or had no idea of the truth.

 

That had hurt you. Zen and Yoosung . . . had been left in the dark about the truth of Mint Eye and the cause of V's death. Jumin, Jaehee, and Saeyoung had all agreed that it would be better if Zen and Yoosung remembered Rika as she was. Rika had been rendered mute by the shock of the experience, and Yoosung had taken it upon himself to care for her. You tried to visit, but the sight of Rika would stir your stomach badly. You were afraid you wouldn’t be able to hide the reactions of your trauma. You weren't ready to pretend, so you didn't visit Rika. Your friends never suspected anything because you didn't have a personal relationship with her.

 

Saeran wasn’t doing well. You had heard from Jumin and Saeyoung both how the twin had been on so many drugs and hallucinogens that he shouldn't have even been able to think and move. The fact that he could hack like that was astounding and a testament to how amazing both brothers were. It had been confirmed that he had been utterly brainwashed by Rika and her cult to make him hate Saeyoung. You could only imagine how Saeyoung felt, but he didn’t communicate with you too often. He was doing all that he could to reunite with his brother properly. To prove that he really did care for Saeran. You wished him luck although you didn’t know how well it was going.

 

The days passed that way. The few times you did talk to Saeyoung, he apologized for not keeping in better contact. You reassured him that you were fine. You were no longer in danger. You could take your time now. You would let Saeyoung handle what he needed to. You would wait for him.

 

Saeyoung pulled you gently close and kissed you. You sighed against his lips having forgotten how much you had missed the feeling. You absorbed the comfort his presence and the scent of his skin. Your exhaustion caused you to itch for the nights you had spent laying around with him. You hoped there would come a day when you could do that again when both of you were happy and safe.

 

When he pulled back from you he gave you a tiny smile. You saw the worry there. The nerves you knew he was attempting to hide, but also a familiar look of hope. You knew his next question before he could ask it. “Do you . . . Can you tell if things are going to reset soon?” _Please say no._ His golden eyes whispered desperately to you.

 

This time you could reassure him. You held his hands and squeezed them, shaking your head. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

 

The relief was evident in the relaxation of his shoulders and body. “Good. I'm glad.” He sighed and hugged you to him, resting his head against yours. “I'm not sure if I can handle that right now.”

 

You didn’t respond and only nodded in agreement.

 

One day Saeyoung called you up to ask you not to come back to his house for a while. He apologized to you repeatedly and said that he couldn't explain right then. You trusted him. He wouldn’t kick you out for a small reason. Although you didn’t particularly want to stay alone, you had grown used to it and so you moved back into your old apartment.

 

It had been strange standing in your apartment for the first time . . . in a very long time. Yes you had been there to pick up the clothing and supplies you had needed for staying at Rika’s apartment, but you had not stayed for very long to look around. You felt misplaced even surrounded by vaguely familiar items. It felt like a lifetime ago that this had truly been your house. You couldn’t remember in the past ever gathering your stuff when you had moved in with your past lovers.

 

It was hateful, you realized. None of it was really yours. In a way you wanted to break everything. A rage you couldn’t understand overtook you, and you ended up shattering your mirror as you gazed at it. The shock of the pain and the noise startled you, and you collapsed into the floor. The blood on your hands made you shudder recalling Saeyoung’s passed out body and V’s corpse. You sobbed and curled in on yourself. Nobody could understand your pain. You couldn't talk about it with Jaehee or Jumin or Saeyoung. They were all too busy. The former two didn’t know about the resets. You were very alone.

 

Time continued to pass in a haze. You started taking sleeping pills. You had heard finally what Saeyoung had done. Apparently he had taken Saeran from the hospital after hearing that Saeran was to be transferred to a psychiatric unit. Saeran had been violent and unwilling to have treatment. The brothers had been locked in Saeyoung’s house. Nobody could break into Saeyoung’s fort. It amused you knowing Saeyoung had done such a thing. You hoped things went well with them.

 

Jumin and Jaehee were the ones handling Rika and Mint Eye’s case. As far as you’d heard, Saeran wasn’t being charged with V’s death. You weren’t sure if that was Jumin's doing or not. Zen had confessed that he knew you all were hiding something. You wished that you could tell him, but you didn’t. You knew better than that. You agreed with the others that it would be too much to tell Zen and Yoosung. Zen would be able to handle it, but it would be far too cruel to leave Yoosung as the only one who didn’t know the truth.

 

“Are you free right now?” Zen asked you one day, quietly. “If you are, why don’t we go out somewhere to eat? Didn’t you want to try those fish crackers from the stand near my house?”

 

You loved those fish crackers. You wanted to have some. “I’m dating Saeyoung~” You teased.

 

“O-Of course! I didn’t mean it like that! I wouldn’t take another man’s girl . . . even if she is as pretty as you.” You flushed at his compliment. Even if you were no longer married to him, his flirtations would still please you. “I wanted to make sure that you’re okay. Everyone is so busy . . . So I thought the two of us could spend some time together.”

 

“I’d like that.” You confessed, staring sightlessly around your quiet apartment. You were curled up on the couch struggling with the silence. Only the churn of the air conditioner could be heard.

 

Later you finally heard from Saeyoung, who called you late one evening to tell you what had happened. Saeran . . . had tried to commit suicide. Saeyoung had stopped him before he could do any damage, but Saeran had turned on him instead. Saeyoung confessed that it had been a close call . . . but he had finally managed to break through to Saeran. His brother was finally beginning to heal, slow as it was. His hatred for Saeyoung wasn’t strong enough to destroy the part that still loved his brother.

 

“We’re two halves of the same whole . . .” Saeyoung whispered to you. “I feel what he feels and vice versa. He’s in so much pain . . . but he’s getting better. I think . . . I think Saeran will be happy again.” You were honestly relieved for him. You were happy for Saeyoung. You were glad he was alive and that both he and Saeran were recovering. You hoped to see him soon. You said goodbye to him as you rubbed at your chest.

 

Once again you hadn’t been strong enough to admit your own pain.

 

Not long afterwards, Saeyoung reentered the RFA chatroom. You both learned that Zen and Yoosung had sent Rika off somewhere to a place to help her heal. A place that they couldn’t track because they moved. They couldn’t even send postcards. Apparently this meant the police wouldn’t be able to find her. You personally thought that Yoosung and Zen knew exactly where she was but they were protecting her. However you couldn’t blame them. Their secret was small in comparison to the ones the rest of the RFA carried. Jaehee had mentioned how she hadn’t wanted anymore secrets in the RFA . . . but it appeared that just wasn’t feasible, as sad as it was. In return for this information, Saeyoung happily informed everyone that he destroyed the case file involving Rika and Saeran. Jumin and Jaehee had been disgruntled, but then again they couldn’t say they disliked it. It meant that the RFA members were safe. That was what mattered.

 

Saeyoung informed you that you could come back over to his house if you so wished. “You can live here if you really want.” He told you, somewhat shyly. “Ah, that is, um, if you don’t mind . . . sharing a bed with me.”

 

You gasped. “Saeyoung! An unmarried couple living together? How scandalous of you!”

 

“Ah~ Ah~ Since when have I ever been one to follow the rules of society? Me? A hacker and secret agent? Doing something scandalous?” He tsked.

 

You giggled, glad to hear his playful self back. You had missed it dearly. “Hm~ Actually . . .”

 

“Hm?” He hummed.

 

“I think . . . I want to call you on your IOU.”

 

“My IOU?” He asked. You could hear the confused frown in his voice. “Did I owe you something?”

 

“You probably don’t remember, but yes you do!” You didn’t particularly want to bring up the fight that had caused him to grant you the IOU.

 

“Okay I’ll trust you. What do you want?” You smiled for the first time in what felt like a while. You wanted to forget everything for just a little bit. To escape from your current reality. You just wanted to spend some time with Saeyoung without the worry of anybody coming down on your heads. Without feeling like there was a time limit on your life. You wanted to feel (dare you say it?) _normal_ again.

 

You took a breath. “Take me on a date.”

 

Saeyoung paused for a long moment before asking with confusion, “A date?”

 

“Yes. A proper one.”

 

“Like the old wine ‘n dine kind of date or . . . ?”

 

“Anything.” You maybe sounded a little bit desperate there.

 

He hadn’t missed it, you could tell, but he didn’t acknowledge it right off the bat. You could tell he had noticed it, though, because his playfulness hardened a bit into something softer and more genuine. “Okay. I’ll take you on a date. I’ll let you know when I can, alright?”

 

You hid a giddy smile into your knees and nodded, but realized he couldn’t see you. “Make it a good one, sweetie~” You sang.

 

“I-” He stuttered and laughed a tiny bit nervously at the pet name. It had been a while since you had used an attack like that on him. He had probably grown unaccustomed to it. “I will! Oh.” His tone changed. “And when we do . . . you’ll tell me what’s wrong, right?”

 

“No.” You responded sharply without even thinking. You heard his quick small gasp. Immediately you regretted it. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize! Just . . . What’s wrong? Why not?” You covered your eyes to bite back the thoughts. You had ignored them thus far. His voice helped to soothe you. _Any_ voice of the RFA members helped to soothe you. You couldn’t talk about it. You would break down.

 

“I just want a normal date with you, Saeyoung. Without worries about our life right now . . . that’s all.” You were begging. He had to be able to hear the cracking in your voice. You were _so tired_ of crying, but you didn’t know what else to do anymore.

 

“I . . . Alright. Okay. We’ll do that.” He agreed quickly. “But please . . . don’t hide your pain from me. You can talk about it with me, you know that. I want to know everything about you, especially if you’re unhappy. I told you I would be here for you. I love you, you know?”

 

You swallowed thickly and bit down hard on the sleeve of your sweater to hide your sobs bubbling in you. “Thank you.” You told him quickly. “Please let me know when the date is! Good bye, Saeyoung.” You hung up on him before he could respond and you grabbed the nearest pillow to clutch to you.

 

You wanted so much. You wanted to forget. You wanted to sleep. You wanted Yoosung and Zen and Jaehee and Jumin. You wanted your lives back, but you also wanted nothing to change. You wanted Saeyoung. You wanted to sleep in his arms. You wanted to feel him over you, the weight of his body pressed to yours as sweat and heat surrounded the two of you. You wanted to rewind time rather than reset it. You wanted to fix everything.

 

Because you had made a mistake. But you felt guilty for wishing you could correct it. Because you had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to. And that hurt more than you thought it would. You didn’t think time would be resetting anytime soon. You had even begun to hope just a tiny bit that it never would. You had begun to expect it wouldn’t reset. And that was such good news. It had to be the end. You would be happy again. You just had to ride out the pain like you always did.

 

You hoped your date with Saeyoung would come soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!
> 
> Anybody got any guesses as to what's wrong with MC? I mean, there're a lot of things wrong, but I'm just wondering if I got across pretty much all of them without actually saying so lol
> 
> Also please let me know if you noticed any glaring errors. I wrote a portion of this on my phone and my phone is a pain in the ass and likes to autocorrect me at random times. I'll try to read through this when I have the time, but it's 3:30 in the morning and I meant to get this out at, like, 7pm.


	13. True End

When Saeyoung had told you the date and time he wanted to schedule your first official date together, you went out and bought a brand new outfit. You got your hair and nails done using money in your account, and you made sure you were well and pampered by the time you were to meet Saeyoung at noon. You took the time to admire yourself in the mirror wearing the lovely new outfit that you were sure both you and Saeyoung would enjoy before you left the apartment. Your heart was fluttering with excitement in your chest, making your appetite weaker than it would be normally. Well, your appetite hasn’t been good for a while now, so it made no difference to you.

You met him in a park near the fountain. You didn’t immediately go over to him, instead taking in how he looked all dressed up for you. It was still his casual clothes, but you could tell he had at least brushed his hair and his clothing looked nicer than the stuff you had seen him in previously. Everything looked newer. He was stunning. It took your breath away, and you had to pause for a moment to realize where and when you were.

You had been on dates in the past with the other RFA members. You could still remember vaguely the outfit Yoosung had worn on your first proper date together. You recalled Jaehee’s smile as you two picked out outfits together for your date. This was nothing new to you. However, it was Saeyoung. That made all of the difference.

“Hi!” You breathed as you finally joined him. You preened under his attentive once-over he gave you before he grinned and stood up.

“Wow! Did you get all dressed up for little ol’ me?” He teased.

“One has to look their best when in the presence of a god, after all!” Your hand reached for his, and he didn’t hesitate to link your fingers together. It warmed you up immensely. Saeyoung had become accustomed to the casual touches between the two of you. You were glad it no longer flustered or amazed him when you wanted to hold his hand.

“Of course, of course~” He sang cheerfully. “Are you ready to go then? No driving this time! We’re walking everywhere today!”

“Oh no~” You playfully bemoaned. “Exercise! What about your junk food tummy? Think of the children!”

“I don’t have that much of a junk food gut.” He pinched your nose in retaliation before pausing briefly to look you over again. His smile dropped into a concerned frown. “Speaking of which . . . you’ve lost weight.”

You didn’t want to talk about this. You didn’t want to do this right now. You had made this promise to yourself. This was your IOU being called upon. No no no no!

You smiled stiffly. “I’m on a diet.” Saeyoung furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth, obviously about to call you out on your lie, but you stared at him in the eye and mentally begged him to drop it. You squeezed his hand and smiled wider, but it only felt faker to you. “No worries, no worries~” You sang and tugged him along. “Where are we going today, Saeyoung? Tell me!”

Saeyoung took the hint, although he did so with great reluctance and unhappiness. You tried to turn a blind eye to his displeasure.

The two of your spent the day together exploring the city to your liking. You went to the arcade first and challenged each other to different games. You couldn’t say you went to the arcade often, but playing with Saeyoung proved to be a blast. He was clearly better at the games, but you were able to hold your own on certain ones. The rhythm games appeared to be your forte, but of course Saeyoung was fantastic at the shooting and fighting games. He even bragged about being able to get almost any toy from the claw machine. He dared you to choose a toy, and when you did he really did prove himself by the third try.

“It’s all mathematics!” He thumbed at his nose as you hugged the stuffed cat. He poked at its soft plush tummy, cheeks red from his own excitement. He looked like a teenager again with his eyes shining like that in the low lights of the arcade. It made you want to kiss him. You resisted.

“It took you three tries, though.” You pointed out.

“Trial and error. I had to test the grip of the claw.”

After you two tired of playing games, Saeyoung took you to a cute little café not far from there. You chose a booth hidden in the corner near some plants but with a good view out at the sidewalk. Saeyoung excused himself temporarily to use the restroom, so you stared around the café. Your heart ached as the scent of coffee evoked gentle memories of working with Jaehee in the café you two had shared together. It reminded you of winter nights curled up next to each other, and the clink of the porcelain against each other stirred emotions to scenes you couldn’t remember. You blinked away a tear that formed in your eyes and turned your gaze outside. You missed Jaehee.

Saeyoung returned to the table and you smiled at him. He didn’t smile back though as his eyes softened with worry and faint sadness. You reached across the table and touched his hand, calling his name with confusion. He took your hand in his and kissed your fingers, lips lingering.

“I wish you would talk to me.” He said quietly.

“I am talking to you.” You tried to tease. He wasn’t falling for it.

“You know what I mean. I know I’ve been absent, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.”

You looked away from him. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Your told him, voice hard but still oh so weak. You gave him a small desperate smile, the pull of your lips feeling painful. “I want to enjoy this date with you . . . without the worry of anything else. Please.”

Saeyoung wouldn’t let you go. “Tell me after, then. You helped me when I was hurting . . . so let me do the same for you.”

Your throat thickened and tears appeared in your eyes. His face became stricken at the sight. “You won’t like what I have to say.” You informed him truthfully even as your voice threatened to crack and break under the strain of your emotions. “And I don’t want you to be upset with me.”

“I won’t.” He swore to you, leaning forward imploringly. “I’ll listen honestly to you.”

“Later.” You begged. “Please let me just have this. You owe me, remember?”

“I don’t.” He confessed with a slightly bitter laugh, but you could tell he was allowing the topic to drop. It took a long while to reorient yourself and bring yourself back to a happier mood. You weren’t as successful as you would’ve liked to be.

You two discussed other things while you ate. You weren’t very hungry despite not haven eaten in a long while. You only picked at the delicious dessert you had ordered, but you did drink the coffee. It wasn’t as good as Jaehee’s, you thought, but it was still tasty. When you two were finished at the café, Saeyoung took you to go see a movie. You paused to stare at his choice, suddenly confused. Since when was this movie out? You had thought it was on DVD already. You shot him a baffled look.

“It’s freaky.” He told you as you two took your seats, a large popcorn and soda between the both of you. “We watched this before with each other, remember? Although we had Zen and Yoosung with us too at the time. I remember you liked it too, so I thought you would want to see it again. Do you remember it?”

You honestly didn’t. You knew you had seen it, but you couldn’t recall what it was about. You didn’t remember ever going to see it with Saeyoung and Zen and Yoosung. You wondered who you had been with at that time. You didn’t ask him.

Just like Saeyoung recalled, you did love the movie immensely. You became immersed in the storyline and cuddled up against your boyfriend. You both whispered jokes to each other and giggled into each other’s shoulders or hair. You ate much more of the popcorn than you realized throughout the movie as Saeyoung quoted a line or two of the movie to you. You didn’t know how he could remember things in such detail like that.

You two walked together and chatted about the movie and the acting the entire time you were outside and in the car. You were so caught up in just being with Saeyoung and enjoying life that you hadn’t even realized you had arrived home. There were no words necessary about inviting him upstairs, although you doubted tonight would end with a sexual encounter. It would be nice, you thought, but you knew Saeyoung well enough that you knew as soon as the door to your apartment was closed and you both were inside that he wouldn’t let your troubles go.

You were somewhat incorrect. When you closed the door, you felt his hands cup your cheek and pull you into a kiss. You gasped at the soft intensity of it as he coaxed your mouth open for a languid kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and melted into him, humming with delight. This was much better. You could taste the Ph.D Pepper he had drank earlier as well as the salt that still lingered on his lips from the popcorn. It turned you on more than you thought it would.

Saeyoung pulled back with a sigh as he told you, “I love you. I will always love you. I don’t know what is troubling you, but I want to take it all onto me so you don’t need to suffer anymore.” You opened your mouth, surprised, and you were about to deny that you were suffering, but he cut you off, “No, don’t lie to me anymore. I know you’re just trying to be strong. I’ve realized you had to develop that, didn’t you? You’ve probably gone through a lot of shit that none of us can remember. I wonder what you were like before all of these resets started? I can’t remember that time.

But I know what it’s like to have to hide behind a front. You’ve taught me that I don’t have to, and I want the same to be for you. I recognize the signs in you, you know. I’ve seen them in others before. You’re barely eating, you’re locking yourself away, you don’t want to talk about it . . . The others have noticed too. I’ve seen them mention it on the chat. They’ve messaged me about it.” His hand brushed your hair from your face and behind your ears. “You don’t have to be scared. Tell me what’s wrong. I’ll try to help you any way that I can.” He implored you.

His sweet words only stabbed you more and more. You hadn’t fooled him for a second, did you? You hadn’t fooled any of the RFA members. You began to cry, broken sobs ripping from your chest. He kissed your tears as they rolled down your cheeks, whispering your name sadly. You were so damn tired of crying, but the guilt on your soul was immense. Your legs couldn’t support you. Saeyoung caught you before you could collapse to the ground.

“It’s all my fault!” You sobbed, hiding your face in your hands. “I messed up! I know I did! We were all supposed to have survived, right? This is supposed to be our happy ending! So wh-why did V have to die? Th-There has to be something I can do differently! I-I-I . . . I’m so sad, Saeyoung. I want to go back. I want to save him but . . .” You curled in on yourself, hugging yourself tightly and shaking. The truth was crushing you. “But I can’t, r-right? You’re finally happy! A-And we have Saeran! And we’ve stopped Mint Eye! And-and-and . . . ! But _God_ -!” You cut yourself off. You couldn’t speak anymore as you keened with pain.

Saeyoung pulled you into his arms and held you tightly to him. His knees came up to completely encompass you in his arms as your hands came up to clench tightly into his shirt. So much for your makeover and hair. You would be a mess by the end of this. Saeyoung refused to let you go as you released your pain into his shoulder. He rocked gently, pressing his lips to your hair as he murmured your name again and again. The tears in his own voice only broke you more.

You didn’t know how long you were hysterical. Your only lifeline was the man holding you unerringly. His arms kept you steady even as you fell to pieces. You had kept your confession in for so long terrified of what he would say to you in response to the part of you that _wanted_ a reset to occur. But you didn’t really want to go back to the beginning. You didn’t want to start all over. You just wanted to fix what had gone wrong!

“It’s okay to feel that way.” Saeyoung told you with a gasping breath. He removed his glasses and you felt him press tear-stained eyes to your own shoulder. “I feel that way too. I kept thinking about it as well. About what we could’ve done differently. About how we could’ve prevented things from going so badly.”

“You . . . you did?” You asked weakly into the skin of his neck. You had thought he hated V still. You knew he had forgiven the man somewhat, but you didn’t think he had forgiven him enough to wish the same thing as you.

“Yes. But . . . _God_ , then I started thinking of how things could’ve gone _worse_.” He said. “If we had gone back . . . and done everything the same but different . . . how much different would we be now? What if you had died instead? What if someone had taken out Saeran first? I could’ve lost everything. We could forget V even died and just replayed the same scenario all over again. The resets are too random. We don’t know what we’ll remember. We can’t rely on them.”

Saeyoung pulled away from you and held your face between his hands again. His eyes were red and frankly he looked about as horrible as you felt. It made you feel slightly better as you blinked a couple more tears out. “We’ll never get a perfect ending. We’ll _never get a perfect ending_.” He repeated with more emphasis. “It’s trial and error. And I don’t want us to go through that. We . . . we deserve this much. God gave us this. Please . . . please don’t think any more of the ‘what-ifs’. I want to be here with you in the _now_. Stay with me here. Please.”

He was begging you, and you could only stare at him. Because his words rang true in you. The odd piece in your heart vibrated with his words, and suddenly the piece didn’t feel like an odd one out anymore. It fit together with the rest of you, making what seemed like your entire soul shudder. The effect left you breathless. You would never get a perfect ending. You hated it. It was so hateful. But . . . But Saeyoung was right. You had him. He had you. You both were alive and healthy and together. Saeyoung was free from the agency, and his brother was alive and well.

This . . . This was your true ending, wasn’t it?

“It’s hard.” You whimpered.

“I know.” He responded. “I know it’s hard.”

“I.” You swallowed and pressed your forehead to his. You thought back as far as you could to the happiness in your life. You thought of all of the good things that came with this timeline. You recalled how much you loved Saeyoung and all you both had gone through to get where you were now. You wanted to have more happy dates with him like today. You wanted to spend nights in bed with him like you had done before. You wanted to experience the holidays with him year after year. You wanted that child-like smile he had shown you back at the arcade back.

You could be happy.

“I want to get married in a space station with you.” You laughed wetly. “A-And I want Elizabeth the third to be my best lady. And I want to travel with you. And I want to cook dinner for you and me and Saeran. And I want to wake up beside you without fear that it’ll start over again.”

“Yeah. Yeah, me too!” He breathed, smiling. “I want to see you grow old with me. And I want to have four hundred children with you!”

You laughed even more, brighter this time. “Let’s aim for something more realistic. Like . . . sixty-nine.”

He gasped with delight. “Naughty! I love it.”

You kissed him then, giggling with him as the last of your tears faded. You weren’t completely healed, but you had a feeling you never really would be. You had lost a friend when V had died, and you had a feeling that you had also lost your hateful power as well. You were free.

Someday soon you would meet with Saeran again, and you would move in with Saeyoung. Saeyoung would propose to you with all of your friends present, and the RFA would be reborn in the ashes of this entire disaster. Things wouldn’t be perfect, but you could be happy. Saeyoung’s hand was tight in yours, and if you reached to the side you knew that the others in the RFA would catch it. You would all move forward together. No more resets, no more do-overs, and no more worries of waking up back at the beginning. You could finally start a new chapter. One step at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a couple more one shot ideas I have planned for this particular AU, but I thought this story could end here. If you have possible suggestions for one shot ideas for this universe, lmk. Even if they're what-ifs. I'm a sucker for angst :3


End file.
